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Child Behavior Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to child behavior, discipline (behavior management), parent-child communications, and social development.
Sid
by Debbie54, Oct 24, 2007 09:12PM
My 2 year old granson is being evaluated for sid. He has a biting problem. He was suspended from pre-school for biting other children. My daughter has tried putting him in time out and other forms of disipline but nothing works. He is very easlily agitated if things don't go his way. He jumps off furniture such as the bed or couch. He is very active and climbs everything. He throws things. He can speak well for his age and is very smart. He requires constant attention or I am afraid he will kill himself. Is this normal behavior or in your opinion, could he have sid?
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This usually involves various textural sensitivities - socks, shoes, shirts with tags, mushy foods, loud noises, any noise at all while the child is trying to hear something else, problems washing hair, washing hands, reluctance to get hands dirty, etc.
You're describing an aggressive boy who is a daredevil.
Does he have a father in the home?
Some people in our society have decided fathers are waste material, have no value.
You're wrong.
Their is more to a family than just a father. Their is a whole other dynamic that happens. Whether or not a father in the home has nothing to do with the question that was asked
It sounds like you have no dad in the area.
You're wrong that fathers don't play a pivital role. You're wrong, and you're in denial.
You dont have a father in the picture, so you are being defensive with mothers who know fathers are crucial to normal development. .
My daughter, with the exception of the biting, and her friends do all the same things -especially the boys.
Is he potty trained? Sleeping well?
I think the biting is something else. He's expressing some of his energy negatively. In my opinion (without knowing more) I would say the negativity comes from everyone around him knowing what's best for him all the time -and- rather than hearing his thoughts on the subject -having him make eye contact and clarify a little, ya either give in or ya don't. He's knows instinctively that he should be able to be heard and decide some things for himself. Give him more choices (f-i-r-m choices, not whatever you say) and let him pick. Also mom needs to take some time everyday to talk to him, but mostly listen to him. I think the biting is his learned way of being taken seriously. Unless he's reacting to something going on in the home.
It's the whole golden rule thing, it's just so easy to forget that respect is something children expect as well, but not obedience, they expect guidelines from us.
I hope I haven't been more offensive than helpful! I'm honestly dealing with the same issues is all. This post was a reminder to myself to listen more, be firm, and have patience. Thanks for the opportunity.
I said this before, but for some reason daycares want to be called schools and daycare providers are called teachers and children are expected to behave way older than they are. I think it's a marketing tool to justify high child care charges and also a way to make a mom feel better about leaving her child there--he's in "school" after all.
I'd find him a nice licensed home daycare where a grandma-type provider will let him play in the mud, jump in puddles, play in the sandbox, run through the sprinklers, and build snowmen and forts.
Regarding discipline...just pick one thing you are comfortable with and stick with it. I tried many things before I realized that nothing worked consistently--he just needed time to mature to be able to control himself more consistently. So, I used time-outs at home (made a time out area, not a chair--gave him some moving around space) and he was only there 1 minute per year old. He could come out and I would quietly take him back to the area (no restarting the timer). He could yell, cry, and scream (and he did at first, but that subsided) and I would not react. While out, if he misbehaved, we left. (People will understand.) Birthday parties--only go for the last hour only. Set him up for success.
He will mature. He will eventually "get it". He's behaving within the normal range for a 2 yo, imo.
Regarding needing a dad--kids SOOOO need their dads. I totally agree that fathers have been made to be insignificant and unneeded in so many ways. Do some research on this if you don't believe it--scientific research on child development. Male figures are crucial in a child's life--for their self-esteem, confidence, and emotional development.
I don't understand sid yet but I am studying the topic. So far, I just think my grandson if very smart and has to much energy that may be from too much sugar. I think he is normal. However, he has displayed some strange behaviors that I didn't mention: 1) He has to have his hands washed often and can't stand to have dirt or sticky from suckers on them. 2)He rolls all over the bed in his sleep.
3) When he was 3 or 4 months old, he would shiver at the touch of his grandfathers beard and has continued this to today with other things such as the hairbrush etc, 4)The first time his bare feet touched grass, he shivered. 5)Some, not all pictures of bugs, snakes and such would make him shiver. 5)He also will not eat some foods because of texture. I thought these things were funny but
may they are not normal.
You have to do what's best for your family. I have a friend whose mother is a psychologist and she is forever giving my friend articles about disorders and suggesting that my friend have her son tested for all types of things. My friend decided to help her son with his struggles. She says she doesn't need a label (diagnosis) and doesn't want medication at this point. Another friend says that not diagnosing and medicating, if necessary, is dead wrong--that if your child had symptoms of diabetes, you'd have him tested and give him medicine if he needed it. She views not having an evaluation as neglectful and irresponsible.
I guess you have to decide why you want it done and what benefits may be the results of a diagnosis of something in particular. Will it help him to get support at daycare and help his caregivers to be understanding and maybe able to see signs of potential problems (maybe he behaves a certain way prior to biting, for example). If a diagnosis will help you all to look at your grandson with more understanding and it gives you tools with which to help him adjust in the world, I don't see anything wrong with it. I only have a hard time when medication is involved as mainly a way to make OTHER people's lives easier (teachers, caregivers, etc.) when the family isn't experiencing the same problems or not to the point where they feel medication is necessary.
All the best to you and your family! Let us know how thyings work out.
Rockrose, yur point about Dad is right on. I think we are seeing the results of split families in all of the difficulties of handling very small children. I do not remember this age as being that much of a difficult time at all. But, I guess the world was a different place then. lol I still have nightmares about teen years tho to this very day! OMG! Talk about insanity! WOW!
Debbie, Oh, I know it is not acceptable now, but back in the day when a child started biting (normal, by the way), we simply bit them back! We did not break the skin or anything like that, but they did feel it just enough to make them realize it hurts. The other thing we did was pretend we were hurt really bad when they bit us. I think our reaction scared them and hence, no more biting. Problem solved! Barbaric by todays standards I know. I was poor and it was a cheap form of solving the problem! I think the kids today need more gym time. Where they can run, run, run, use all their energy. Watch how much suger they are consuming, Take naps and have a structured enviroment. I remember having to let my kids wear thmselves out, or no one got any peace in the family. Or sleep for that matter! LOL Good luck and let us know how it all pans out!