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Relationships Community

This patient support community is for discussions relating to relationships, abstinence, arousal problems, birth control, cohabitation, commitment, communication, couples counseling, desire, sexual technique, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
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Sex with Husband

by ManicPanic247, Oct 26, 2007 10:59AM
When me and my husband have sex.......i want to "make love" i feel so connectd to him even though he is one minute man and doesnt really please me...i like to feel that feeling from him, but he just wants to "have sex" and thats it. I want him to be passionate and just explore me kiss me all over and...well you know all that good stuff. I have said this to him before and he said he'd keep trying. He did it once after that convo and never again.....what do i do. Im losing interest of sex with him. When i masterbate, i cant orgasm unless i fantasize about a women.  :0
Member Comments (7)

by April2, Oct 26, 2007 11:46AM
It sounds like he wants to do better and please you. You may have to show him exactly what you want. Be specific (he can't read your mind), guide him. Most men get pleasure out of knowing they've brought pleasure to their women. Don't give up. It's worth working on.

by ksanden, Oct 26, 2007 12:43PM
you might have to get on the horse and do what you want to him show him what you want, touch yourself in front of him grab his hand guide him the way you want to be touch. or before introcourse try giveing him head and getting him to the point and then stoping slow down let him not *** but just a tease to get him to go longer it works for some men not all... good luck
ksanden

by 3d1kjjcs, Oct 26, 2007 07:32PM
When you start messing around, tell him.....no sex yet....I'm not ready yet.  You will probably have to repeat yourself many many times (but say it very nicely!).  Sometimes when men are really turned on, they forget about everything else and need to be reminded!!  It sounds like he means well, so that may be his case.  Most men really do want to please their wife, just need direction.

As for the 1 minute thing, if you want it to last longer, you could have him masturbate, or you help, then start messing around (of course telling him to be patient again!) and then have sex again. He should last longer then.

by Milfilicious78, Mar 25, 2008 04:12PM
To: ManicPanic247
Can't help much but the "fantasizing about Women" part I understand. I've been with my Hubs for 5 years and we have 2 kids together and I never came with him. I know it's b/c he makes such a HUGE *** deal out of it and knows that I used to be able to *** wildly with an ex before him. I'm still trying to figure that one out, myself..anyway, if u r hot and live near me let's see what we can do.. (;

by Milfilicious78, Mar 25, 2008 04:14PM
To: ManicPanic247
Saw ur pic, u r cuuute, but don't worry, I'm not a stalker..just bored, depressed, angry, struggling with bills, wanna go back to work, Daughter newly diagnosed Type1 Diabetic, you know..all the good things in this life!!

by teko, Mar 25, 2008 05:25PM
Men, unless they have been around alot, do not know how to make love, they only know how to have sex. You have to teach him how to please you. And only you know what that takes. Unless you want to continue the bam bam thankyou ma'am syndrome, you need to start communicating and letting him know what you want. Every woman is different also, so even a seasoned lover still has to be educated when he gets a new partner. Rent some romantic movies and watch them together, etc.

by Canon53, Apr 01, 2008 05:56PM
To: Everyone
I have a question.  I have been married for about 2 years.  My wife and I used to have sex  a few times a week.  Now it more like once every two weeks.  When we make love I try to mess around for awhile and she just wants to have sex.  It is pretty frustrating for me.  She can't get off either so I think she gets real frustrated.  I was just hoping for some general advice.  We have talked about it before but she just doesn't seem to care too much.  Its kind of the same scenario as the OP but in reverse.  

As for the OP I do agree that men need to be told what their girl likes.  I guess cause men think about it all the time women assume they know what they are doing but this isn't the case sometimes.  

by lefty412, Apr 05, 2008 02:04PM
To: MANIC PANIC247
THEY SAY IN ENGLAND THAT NO ONE KNOWS WHAT A WOMAN LIKES  LIKE ANOTHER WOMAN, SO GIVE HIM SOME HINTS ON WHAT YOU WANT. TEACH HIM, IT COULD BE A TURN ON  FOR HIM TOO.  DONT PUT HIM IN A DRESS THOUGH, YOU MIGHT COME HOME AND FIND HIM IN IT WHEN YOU ARE NOT AROUND.......

by jessy615, Apr 11, 2008 11:38PM
To: hey
i agree with everyone !
my fiance for a while didnt know "how to please me " but i literally had to show him step by step how to please me ... even now he still doesnt get it sometimes by its a learning process ... get a karna sutra ... it works for me ...
let me know if you need to know anything else !
-Jessy

by spacecadette, Apr 12, 2008 02:51PM
So true....I had the same problem....you have to get on board and take the wheel.  One night I just decided to do everything I knew intimidated him........it was so much fun having that kind of control....and it was a huge turn on for him...hence his reaction and "idea" to sex changed entirely....get a little crazy...pull out the blind fold....tie him up......it's actually a lot of fun....:),,,,all the best...

by ComputerGeek, May 20, 2008 10:21AM
"dr_Logan" - you are not wanted here.  You are sending spam on all forums.  Please cease and desist!

by ComputerGeek, May 20, 2008 10:25AM
Looks like I am not the only one reporting this "dr_Logan" for spam.  Either that or the people running these forums are extremely quick to react!

by njw753, May 20, 2008 01:21PM
Try giving each other sensual massages before sex.  There are some good erotic massage videos out there.  That way you are not concentrating on sex right off the bat.

by Meg1976, May 26, 2008 10:40AM
To: Everyone
Get idea about sexuality and sex then share sensuality before having sex. Once you know what does mean sexuality and how it is different from intercourse, then You can enjoy lot and will get orgasm

by sweetheart5, Jun 02, 2008 05:05PM
my boy friend asked me if i wanted to have sex and i 14 what do i do?

by TinaQ256, Jul 16, 2008 01:56PM
To: ManicPanic247
Some men are lazy and just want to get off and go to sleep.  

I agree though....if your man hasn't "been around the block" or has had very few partners, they don't know what to do and don't feel comfortable "taking control"  

These kinda guys need a lil more coaching and instructions.  It's frustrating and annoying but if you love your partner, you can do it.  

If that's not the case and he doesn't seem to want to learn or try to please you, I think you should find a new man.  Nothings worse than a selfish man in bed...when all you want is to make passionate love every once in a while and he just wants to get off.

:)
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