7yr.old grandchilds friendships

[teller5]

Our 7yr.old granddaughter, is doing okay in school with her studies.  She is very outgoing and loving. The problem is that she is so gragarious, loud and talkative, that she puts off the other girls, and hasn't got any friends. She is mostly around adults, and has been since birth.  She knows the names of every adult in the school and they seem to adore her.  She is so loving that she wants to hug everyone.  It is such a shame that in our society, you have to try to tell a child not to be so demonstrative in that way.  She also likes boys, which she has been this way always too.  She likes chasing them and them chasing her.  But they are chasing her to get her away.  She has recently been having a imaginary friend.  I'm sure this isn't helping her any.  When I asked her why she had an imaginary friend, she replied, "Because no one wants to play with me."  It breaks my heart.  I should mention too that both of her parents are very out-going and loud. She was on a softball team, and her mom said that at the pool party at the end of the season, all the girls would get out of the pool when she got in.  Help.  

[RockRose]

Teller,  I know a girl who is so like her it sounds like you're describing the same child.

This girl is now 13,  though.  She's bright,  and enthusiastic.  If an adult is leading an activity,  K will NEVER say "that's boring".  She's right up there in the front, enthusiastically participating and trying to win,  or do her best.  She hugs you and won't let go - this has changed in the last year or two - she's finally learned not to grab hold and refuse to let people go.

She LOVES animals,  but kills them (literally) with rough handling.  She's been through a long cycle of hamsters,  turtles,  guinea pigs,  who have all been mishandled to death.  

Anyway,  I really think what K needs is someone to help her not be so obnoxious with other kids.  She's just truly obnoxious.  She gets in their faces,  elevates the tiniest little snub,  won't take no for an answer,  won't "share" friends with other people - she has to be the one friend - and on and on.  It's awful to watch her,  she's a disaster with friendships.  On field trips I was always the only mom who wanted her in my small group - because really,  she was ENTHUSIASTIC.  She wanted to hear where this or that thing was found,  what it is,  where can she get one,  etc.  Way better than kids who sigh and say when can we go home.  

I just sense your granddaughter is exactly like this child.  K is pretty,  so you can't chalk any of her lack of friends to any kind of unusual physical characteristic - it's her over the top clinginess and loud behavior that causes all her problems.

I really sense your granddaughter needs behavioral therapy/ counseling and role play.  She needs to learn how to quiet down,  how to not grab a child even though the impulse is so strong.  Loud,  gregarious  and talkative girls usually have a lot of friends.  It's the chasing and grabbing and refusing to give someone space until they physically fight you off that's the problem.   I wonder if you could role play with her - or get a counselor who is good at that?  

Best wishes.