9 yr old with peculiar behavior

[Cyn67]

Hello, I have a 9 yr old boy that is a pleasure to be around, usually. He is lovable and cuddly and intelligent and loves drawing board games or maps with legends or animation. He is good to everybody and all his teachers love him. They describe him as painfully shy however, though in every other social situation with family he talks up a blue streak and is courteous.  Why am I posting in here then you ask? Well, every now and then for apparently no reason at all, he will shut down and get quiet.....he will clench his fists and he wont do anything. You go through the 20 question list, "are you hurt, did your  brother do something to you, are you sick" etc....only to find out that he didnt want to wear the blue shirt, or his sock isnt set right. Even when its to his own detriment, ie., facing not going to a game or getting grounded, he cant function. When he was 5 i took him to a neurologist( with video taped behavior in hand) because he had some hand flapping and extreme facial gestures when he was excited or had a new game or toy. I was told there was nothing wrong and he'd grow out of it........he does that less now..however he does other things like....the other night he smacked a glass of water on the table that doused his lil sister and the table and his sister's food. He said he didnt know why he did it..........but stomped off to his room, hands clenched and slammed the door. Its so bad that when he gets like this...i literally have to dress him to get him ready for school.........at least he does go out and get to the bus by himself. He has friends, in fact everybody thinks he's the greatest...even his teachers...although he did shut down and get teary when a obnoxious nurse asked if i'd hit him because he had pink eye in both eyes and so obviously somebody hit him...I later got a note from doc that said pink eye CAN affect both eyes and the tearing was from photocytopenia(sp). Ive tried rewarding good behavior, ignoring bad behavior, hugging him(sometimes this works) but Im at a loss.......help?

[sarakahn]

Have you taken note of the enviromental factors of when he has these episodes.  Try keeping a journal over a month or two recording dates, times, who he was around, any type of discussion, or situation that was going on when these happen.  They may be the key to unlocking your situation.  Good luck and best regards.

[Agiesmom]

If he has issues with clothes, let him pick out his own at the store--or if he has a favorite shirt, buy several (in different colors if they have them).  My son is very sensitive to tags, labels, seams, etc.  I only buy him what looks to be comfortable clothes and if they aren't for some reason, I get rid of them.

Regarding the water spilling, what is your take on it?  Do you think he did it on purpose?  Did he intend to spill it?  Maybe he was angry at the end because he felt frustrated--that he did it, he didn't know why he did it, and everyone was upset with him.

What's interesting is that he doesn't do anything out of the ordinary at school or with his teachers or friends.  My son saves his most difficult behavior for me--it's like it takes everything he has to keep it together with others (others who may not be as understanding or forgiving) and he lets loose at home because he feels safe here.  Do you think that's what's going on with your son?