Sick in the "HEAD"

[msmarlowe]

I am Bipolar, boarderline personality disorder, PTSD, and a panic disorder and i am/was a cutter...two years ago, I been in and out of hospitals...I tried most of the drugs in this forum.....finally i did ECT....that seemed to been the only thing that worked/helped....i have been doing pretty good for the last few every now and then i get a flare up or something i guess.....I get worried and freaked out when i have a bad day, i almost lost my husband over all this and so i get scared and don't let anyone know ....I don't let my husband know i just say that i am feeling a little down...(he has gotten me TDO before) anyways yesterday I had a really down, then i got really angry....angier then i have been in a really long time...and i tried really hard to do the right things i wrote my in my journal i did some kickboxing but that did not work....so i did cut a litte...i feel better today...but i am trying to decided if i should tell my husband......

[uberadtx]

You didn't mention if you have a therapist.  Does he have a therapist?  It sounds like the both of you need serious counseling.  One thing I have learned in my depression/PTSD recovery is that people are either with you or not.  And that sometimes you need to step over people to get the help you need.  Decide who's life you would like to live, yours or your husband's.  Then make the decision to get help to get better.  Keep me posted