Typical 6 year old behavior ?

[jam729]

My son is 6 years old. According to his teacher, he does well in school,(lacks a bit in reading comprehension, and his handwriting needs a bit of work),  he rarely interrupts her, he participates and according to her he interacts socially. She's even told me that all the previous year teachers have said that he is a totally different child in that he has matured much more.
Here at home, I have noticed that he rarely sits still unless he's playing the playstation. When eating dinner, he has one leg off the chair, or he'll stand a few times. When I've asked of friends at school, he names like 3 girls. When probing a bit further he says that the boys can be tricky and don't let him be first, etc.. (we are signing him up for teeball in spring to help with his social interraction) (he picked the sport).  Lots of times when he's talking to me, he will reach the end of his sentence with great emphasis like he's about to scream the answer, b/c i should have known it. He forgets alot about personal space and likes to get in people's faces. Also the other day we sat down to watch a movie and he couldn't sit still for more than 5 min. However, for other movies , he'll barely move. He is distracted easily. Eg: I'll tell him to brush his teeth and put on his shoes for school, and he'll hear me, but continue watching the TV. When I remind him, he'll take a few steps toward the bathroom, stop again and watch a bit, until I tell him strongly that he needs to do these things b/c we are going to be late if he doesn't.
He used to play outside with some of the kids in the neighborhood, but b/c they are older they'd be really bossy with him and mean on occassion so he's more of a homebody now.  
He argues with me EVERY chance he gets. Not so much in a mean tone, but to say that everything I ask him to do does not have to be done when I ask or in the manner I have asked it. HOWEVER, have his father tell him something and it's done in a heartbeat !  
So I am wondering if he acts this way around me b/c he thinks that it will get him attention and he can get away with it ? or is this something to be concerned about or just typical 6 year old boy behavior?

[becks715]

I would say the fact that he responds immeadiately to hubby but to you is simply a respect issue.  He doesn't feel you are the alpha but dad is.  That is not uncommon.  He will push you more because sometimes he gets away with it and doesn't "fear" you in the way he does his father (fear isn't quite the right word but you get my point?)  

Has he been evaluated for any type of attention deficiet disorder?  that would be somewhere I would look to - if at the very least to rule it out.  

If he is making improvements in school that's fantastic be proud of that!  And enrolling him in an extra curicular activity is great as well.  I think you need to be a bit sterner.  There are two approaches you could try.

1.  When he needs to do something like brush his teeth give him a 5 minute warning ie "in five minutes it's time to brush your teeth and put your shoes on"  if he can tell time or read numbers show him on a digital clock - when it says 8:10 you must go brush your teeth.  That way it gives him the warm up knowing this is coming.

or
2.  Please go brush your teeth.  If he doesn't respond to your request I would approach him, and direct him to the washroom, lead him there completely and say again "it's time to brush your teeth please"  because obviously just asking him , and then reminding him seems to be giving him the extra 5 or 10mins of watching TV that he wanted in the first place.  

Whatever you decide to do you must be consistant and sometimes it takes a bit of sterness for the child to get the point "oh yea mom means business" you are in no way being mean so don't ever feel that.

When he does listen on the first instruction - a reward/praise etc is in order.  You have to reward good behaviours and either ignore or "punish" bad ones for them to see it.  ie if I don't listen I know I'm getting a time out, or my playstation taken away but if i do I know I'm going to get extra TV time or play time or whatever.

Some of the behaviours you mention are just normal 6 yr old behaviours but not all.  I would advise you to get him evaluated for attention deficiet for peace of mind or an answer and then when you know that pick the things that bother you the most - not listening to you but listening to dad, or being bossy, or yelling or whatever and focus on them one at a time and dealing with them.  Firmly and consistantly and things will eventually improve.  Good luck!

[brentten]

I had similar issues with my 6 year old. I would ask him to do something ie: brush his teeth and we would ignore me. Or wait until I raised my voice or took him by hand to brush his teeth. So I tried some thing new. When I ask him to do some thing I make eye contact with him and ask him to repeat what I have asked him to do. The" I mean business look" on my face. He is getting better and better. Give it a shot.

[raymoe]

Most chidren use the same tactics, and athough you may not be pleased to hear criticism, you need to realise that its down to your failure.

DISCIPLINE is what he needs, and then he will soon respond like he does with his Dad....Say to his face what you mean, and mean what you say.

If he really needs some time to honour your requests, then upturn a egg timer in front of him...saying I thing you just best move yourself before this runs out.

Make a penalty if it does, and carry it out without failure.

Regards UK Ray.