preschool harming him??

[proud_mama]

My 3 year old son started 5 day afternoon preschool in Oct. He has always been very smart and active and he needed more social interaction. His "from birth" qualities seemed to be always on the move, always hungry, trouble sleeping, funny, silly, smart, dare-devil, ENERGY!  From the first day of school he talked of a boy that was "mean and hurt him." over the course of weeks his behavior is quickly changing. He is mean and destructive now. He won't share and hurts his 1 year old sister and 10 week baby cousin. He is regressing and while potty trained at 18months he now has accidents everywhere and wets the bed. Last nigth I caught him using his feces for finger paints and in the same night peeing on the couch and rubbing his face in it. He has started saying he is now the "bad boy" and calls himself by the other childs name. The teacher has confirmed there were problems between the boys and notices to that my sons behavior is changing. I don't know what to do... Pull him out of school, see a doctor???? He has always been a lot to handle do to his energy but now its a bad energy unlike his normal self.  
To:

[lamb18]

I dont know if this will help but when my nephew started preschool he was having frequent accidents. Also, when my sister had her baby he began to have frequent accidents. We took him to the doctor and she said that it is his way of getting attention. Maybe it could be that he was so used to all of the attention on him at home, then when he goes to school, the teacher cannot pay attention to just him. My nephew went through the same thing. What we did was we sat him down and talked to him. The doctor said not to punish him for the accidents because it will make him feel like he achieved in his little rebellion. She said just to talk to him and tell him what he is doing is bad. Eventually, he will recognize that these behaviors are not getting him all of the attention like it does the kid at school. I would tell him that when he starts acting like a good boy, then maybe you guys can go to the park, watch movies, or something fun. Hope this helps.

[proud_mama]

THanks for your advice on the situation lamb18....

[TLOW1212]

When my daughter started preschool she also changed.  She started acting like a girl in her class.  She would be whinny and bratty and actually sound like the other girl.  She also said she wanted to be like her.  I have continuously told her how much I liked it when she acted as herself and not the other girl.  I pretent like i don't understand her when she sounds like the other girl.  Your situation sounds a bit more severe because of the violence and things.  I think maybe 5 days is too much for a 3 year old.  I started mine on a 3 day a week for 2 1/2 hrs a day.  It gives me more time to get her back in line.  If I thought it was harming my daughter, I would most definately take her out of the school.  Maybe try another class with fewer days a week.  I know he will eventually have to face other bullies, but at 3, he may not be ready.  I would also talk to his doctor.  Good luck.

[SpiritDreamer]

You may want to look into talking to the parents of the other child with the teacher presiding over the conversation. It may be benefical all three parties. The other option is to look for a different daycare. It may be that the one your son is in, just isnt equipt to handle behavior situations like this.