Teen school phobia

[stlmom]

What can i do for my teen daughter who was diagnosed with school phobia?  It seems that the school system does not understand that this disorder, doctors prescribe meds that still can;t get in the door of school and her anxiety is so sad to watch as a mother. I feel that my hands are tied and I need to know if anyone else suffers from this or has advice?  She is a really pretty, confident girl. She is happy at home and with family and friends. She comes off as personable. None of her friends would ever believe that this is as 'acute' as is is. She missed so much school this year and says she CAN"T go- not that she does not WANT to go . It is consuming her and she lives with this constant sense of DREAD. Any advise is appreciated. I love her so much and dont know what to do for her. I dont want to force her to go to school but am not sure if pulling her out would benifit her either.

[momicus]

my daughter is the same way and her counsler told her about vertial high school.It is high school that she can do on line and only go to the class room once a week for testing.Many students are doing this now a days.My daughter was afraid to go back to her school because she was attacked and they had a major riot there all in the same week.

[stlmom]

thanks for the comment----I decided to give my daughter the greatest Christmas present...PEACE. I have pulled her from school and had forms sent to her doctors for homebound schooling. She is so much happier and I am relieved!

[confused426]

you are a very understanding mother. i had, and still have the same thing. extreme teasing caused me to be so afraid i couldnt walk into a classroom-- sometimes i would break into tears right before the door and would leave. i ended up going to night school and things were better. this isnt a problem that will just ''go away'' or a phase or anything. it takes years to make serious strides, so kudos to you to relieve her suffering now. let me know how she is doing:) oh and tell her that its okay to feel nervous, that, as time passes and she gets about 18 19 that the panic isnt nearly as bad and that peers around that age really mature( so she will feel more comfortable around them )

merry christmas!

[stlmom]

Ahhh...you brought tears to my eyes. My 3 sons (early twenties) do not understand why I pulled my daughter out of school. I think that they just dont' want to accept that something is genuinely wrong with their little sister. I am a single/widowed mom and the boys basically helped raise their sister with me. I pray they respect my decision and that my daughter will eventually be able to go to school with her friends and live a normal life.....What is a normal life anyways?...LOL

*Merry Christmas to you also.........your kind words really moved me!

[athug]

I'm the same way, the thought of school was paralyzing, I would never have rest.  School was the last thing and first thing in my mind at all times.  I eventually became home schooled for a year, strangely enough after one year of being home schooled I felt like I needed to go back, I was missing out.  My fears of school shed off and now I attend 10th grade in public.  Anyway, from what I can ascertain homeschooling is becoming increasingly popular.  I hope for the best.

[nastursim]

I think this will be helpful to her in the short term, but maybe not in the long term. I am an adult suffering with depression, and as I child I hated school, I was so scared of all the people, I would never talk to anyone all day, in breaks I would stand against a brick wall terrified, and nobody ever got me help. I think it would also be helpful to her if she could talk to somebody about her phobias and work through them so that she does not take all this into adulthood, maybe find a group of people she is comfortable to hang out with
so she is still learning to socialise. It is difficult as a parent to watch your kids suffer, I have a little girl of 6 who is showing the same signs of anxiety that I experienced.

[portraitofgrace]

my daughter just showed me your message, and it brought tears to my eyes, i thought she wrote it, your situation is exactly what we are going through, EXACTLY, its heartbreaking to see your precious daughter go through this.  Our school Vice Principal has been a blessing, he has helped me so much. But how much can they do, we are considering "home instruction" a teacher comes to our home to teach her.  We sit and talk all the time, what is great is that our daughter tells us everything, shares with my husband and i always.  Imagine a child that just bottles it all up.  sometimes i feel i am at my wits end, but i just keep praying for a miracle.  I tell my daughter,we are here for her, but as catholics, i have to put my faith in God. who else can i turn to.  sometimes, we feel as if the therapists dont understand,  its like we need answers now. not next week.  We as parents want our children rid of this.  My daughter is a Honor student, in the 10th grade, 16 yrs. old, has parents and an 8 yr old sister that loves her, wonderful decent group of friends.  The friends dont know and are wondering, why she isnt in school.  She too is happy at home and on weekends, but comes Sunday night, u can sense the phobia coming on.  its dreadful.  we will pray for all of you! keep this forum going.  

[TaraMM]

Hello,
I read through your posts and I feel like I am reliving my childhood. I am 31 but when I was 12, seemingly out of nowhere, I began suffering from extreme school phobia. I would cry, hyperventilate, have seizures, you name it. Sunday nights were also the worst for me representing the anticipation of what promised to be a horrible morning for my mother and I. i am so grateful to her for being my only support system. Back then the school system just thought I was lazy and a brat. Child protective services threatened to take me from my mother. At age 16 I was put on anti-anxiety, anti-depression medication. To this day I have no idea how I managed to overcome school phobia but I eventually graduating from high school and college with honors. I firmly believe more attention needs to be given to this disorder. I am working on some freelance articles on school phobia. If any of you would care to share your experiences I would be most appreciative and humbled. Thank you. Things can and will get better.

[kaz32]

hi,, i have read all these comments, and can see myself and my son in there. my son is 14, recently moved in with me and my partner, he has been living with his dad for years, through mutual agreement,, as i was suffereing from a break down. thats enough about me..lol.. my son is in a wonderful school, and they do everythign they can for him, hes in a specail needs class at the mo, he keeps fainting alot, and at least once, every week, they send himhome through this. he attends 2 lessons every day, hes fainted at school and on the way to school.. he has all the medical help they can give him, and its not a medical prob. we are due to see the school counselloor, and child and adolencense mentla health team hopefully soon.. he still has contact with his dad, and step family. ( he hsnt always got on with his step mum, used to babysit his 2 younger 1/2 brothers alot etc). My son is happy living with me and my partner. school sent him home, and the head of year brought him back in his car!!!  the skool is great, but i feel sometimes i cant do alot for my son, my partner is great, and my sons loves him, my partner works full time, ive been out of work for 3 weeks. but shortly to find another job asap. please cnna any one advise on how a parent should help etc. or if there is any one else out there.. can give out my email to genuin people who wana stay in touch with me. many thanks..kaz x

[stlmom]

Wanted to give you all an update regarding my daughter. She is seeing a new wonderful psychiatrist, off all meds, not seeing her psychologist (wanted her to go to a boot camp) and is trying to get all of her 8th grade work completed so she can go to High School next year. She does not fall asleep until 3-4AM due to extrmem anxiety, racing thoughts, depression and fears. She will go to a Behavioral Institute tomorrow to help with Cognitive therapy and has an IEP/504 plan started for next year. I met her High School counselor and she seemed really "cool". I hope to put all of this middle school bs behind us and hopefully see improvements regarding her mood and motivation. I am still working on my sons/familys ignorance regarding her anxiety as they believe it is laziness on her part and lack of discipline on my part. I wonder how I was able to raise such wonderful (but igonrant) sons on my own. I know they love her but so do I and I deal with this daily. I was just diagnosed with a possible stomach ulcer...stress at home and at work. I am going to keeo the faith and appreciate all of thses wonderful, supportive comments. God Bless!

[stlmom]

Got called into work but wanted to share this (seen on THIS site):

Hope:  

"when the world gives up"

Hope whispers

"try it one more time"    :)

I work with acute eating disorders/young females...
I plan on sharing this with them....BELIEVE!