getting my daughter back to normal

[yoppydc]

For the past 6 months my 2 year old has been screaming about going to sleep by herself. I had her to the point that she was saying good-night and getting into bed all by herself, but recently its become a real chore to get her to sleep. There has been a lot going on, my husband, her father passed away almost 4 months ago. Also, we just recently moved to a different state. Is this a part of the behavior or is it the age? Also, what could I do to get her back to normal?

[summerlion1123]

I think the behavior problems are partly all the stress and partly the age. 2 year olds throw tantrums, that is for sure, and they have behavior issues because they feel angry but they don't really know how to express that. Anyways, one thing to try is the 15 minute rule. You leave your child in the room, no matter how nasty she screams, and after 15 minutes they usually fall asleep. Oh my gosh it is amazing how that works. My son would scream himself blue all the way up until 13 minutes, and I'd be feeling so sad and be convinced it wouldn't work. But the doctor said, and so I stood my ground. 15 minutes rolled by and he was passed out! I don't really know if that is supposed to work for toddlers though, I only heard it for babies, but it is something to try. Also, are there any things that help her go to sleep? Rocking, songs, a story first, you in the room? Maybe she is just afraid to have you gone. Try sitting outside her door and telling her you are nearby but she has to get into bed and go to sleep. Even if she is crying you stay out of the room and tell her she needs to go to sleep and that you are right there if she needs anything. That is something I heard to try if the child is used to having the parent in the room when they go to sleep or when they are used to sleeping with the parent, but it might work for this situation as well. Anyways, good luck, and be patient. I bet things will get easier as she gets a little older, her behavior is probably her age. Also, I am sorry for the loss of your husband, I was so sad when I read that.

[888mom]

I'm sorry your husband passed away.  I can't imagine what you have been goign through recently.  You have my deepest sympathies and my prayers for you and your family.

Summerlion had lots of good suggestions.

Having a parent pass away, a 2 year old probably can't understand.  Adults have trouble understanding it, have trouble grieving, why wouldn't a 2 year old?  She might be afraid that you are goign to die at some point and leave her too.  Moving is also another hard thing for a toddler to grasp.   I totally wouldn't know what to advise.  As I say on other responses, that I'm starting to sound like a broken record, seek professional advise?  I don't know if there are counselors for 2 year olds, but a pediatrician would know that.  If you are seeing an adult counselor, maybe he/she could advise you as well.  I think you wrote that the problem started 6 months ago, and your husband passed away 4 months ago.  But, even if the problem existed beforehand, I'm sure having her daddy gone does not help the situation in getting passed it sooner.  My daughter had sleep problems, and I asked her pediatrician.  You don't even need to go in for a visit, you can call the doctor's office and leave a message for the doctor with a nurse and have the doctor get back to you, and then if the doctor needs you to come in you can schedule a visit.  My daughter's doctor had photocopied some pages out of various books for me and mailed it to my house, and the pages were based on what I had told her was goign on.  She also had the nurse give me some advise over the phone.  I am sure your pediatrician can recommend books to read, what to tell her, how to correct the sleep behaviors, etc.  

I'd be tempted to just let her sleep with me, if I was in your shoes, but I know you are supposed to get kids back to normal as quick as possible so that probably isnt' right.  

[pmsobx]

When my daughter was little, we went through the same thing.  My clever husband came up with a great idea that worked.  Take her to a toy store and buy her a "protector bear".  It worked for my daughter and when we had more kids, she would get out the "protector bear" if one was having trouble going to sleep.  I still have that bear!  I'm saving it for grandchildren!   Sounds like she is under a lot of stress!  But you two will get through this!  Promise!

[xoxmonicaxox]

My opinion could be the big change, from new house and environment, it can really catch her off guard and half to build your way back up to getting her used to sleeping by herself in her room, comftorably!