This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting toddlers (age 1-5), including physical, speech, sensory, cognitive and emotional development, choosing a daycare/nanny, games & activities, and toilet training.
Friends of ours had to go out of town overnight to a funeral.
They asked if my wife and I could watch their 5 year old boy and we happily agreed.
When it came time for bed I noticed my wife diapering him in our guest room and thought it odd for a 5 year old to still need diapers. However I just assumed it was for bedwetting issues and dismissed it.
The next morning when I went in to check on him I opened the door and was nearly knocked over by the smell. Apparently he had a bowel movement in his diapers overnight. I shut the door and told my wife who already knew he was not potty trained.
It boggled my mind why he was not yet at the very least potty trained for poop at 5 years old.
I very delicately brought it up with his father (my best friend) who told me they were not pushing him on this issue and eventually he would be trained in his own timeframe.
I said nothing more about it. Our children were potty trained day and night before they were 3 years old with an occasional night time wetting accident.
I can't believe that some people would let an older child continue to poop in a diaper past the age 3 let alone 5 years old.
As I researched the topic I was surprised and shocked to see there are many children refusing to poop on the potty.
The best thing to do and we did this with our children is the reward system or bribe if you want to call it that.
What we did was we kept a basket with small little cheap toys and we we had a succesful potty visit they would get to choose a toy from the basket.
For us this was a real motivator for them. We also made a big deal over it.
Secondl, Whenever I had to poop I would take our son in with me to show him there was nothing to be afraid of by pooping on the potty.
My son and I made a pact, whenever he had to go I would go with him and whenever I had to go he would go with me.
As for our daughter, my wife and my daughter had a similar arrangement. For us it really worked.
It is upsetting and disturbing to change dirty diapers on a 5 year old who shows no shame or embarrassment.
When my brother and I were toddlers my mother used the shame method which back in those days was acceptable. While I do not believe in this method you would think that at 5 years old a child would show some sort of shame or embarrassment at having his dirty diapers changed by someone else besides his parents.