terrible twos and 16 weeks pregnant

[anxietyX5]

My child is 23 months old, and he will repeatedly do things over and over after I tell him no. I will give him a light smack on the bottom, but that doesn't seem to help. In fack he does it on purpose when he knows I don' t want him to do something. I have the Christmas tree up and all he does is try to pull the ornamints off and break them. I have said no so many times I am afraid I will loose my voice. I know he understands me, he just flat out doesn't listen to me. I am at a loss at what else I can do to change this, I'm about to pull out my hair, and of course the pregnancy hormones don't help either. Anyone with ideas on how to change this behavior, would be greatly appreciated, and anyone else going through something similar, I would like to hear from.    

[Crritter]

All I can say is, it's the age.  Your little one is probably testing you, or is just so excited about something new, would rather risk getting in trouble to at least check out the tree.  I was a wreck when I was pregnant again.  Cars was good through the twos, but turned 3 right after I got pregnant and when he turned 3 decided he knew everything- and he told me that all the time.    I had to sit him down eye to eye and explain things to him, he could care less if I popped him on the bottom, but if he had to sit there and listen to me talk and waste his precious time...it helped.  Good luck, it should get better.  I would try something new since he is phased right now.  He's also old enough to explain that if he breaks the ornaments he could get an owie, or the tree won't be so pretty.  He's little still, but keep trying, hang in there and congrats on baby #2!

[AndiJ78]

Time outs were beginning to become more effective at this age for my boys. So they would get a time out for that kind of stuff. And honestly, they possess very little impulse control at this age, so your child literally may not be able to control that urge to touch. Rather than making a battle you won't win, place the ornaments up higher on the tree. We did that for all of our kids and trust me, it is a lot less headache.

[Crritter]

Andi, I knew you'd have good advice.  Wehave like 5 ornaments on our tree, even at 4 my oldest can't help it.  between him and the cat...I can't win.  I totally forgot, when Cars was that age, we did time outs, but he would sit in the corner and play, or sneak in to his room and get a toy.  We started to make him sit on a stool in the middle of the hall so he was stuck there.  I keep reminding myself of his age too.  I keep telling myself, he's ony 4, which is true as you pointed out, and pick your battles.

[anxietyX5]

Thanks for the comments. I would do time outs, but there is no way he would stay where I put him. And he climbes very well, so i can't put him in his play pen he would get right out. How do you teach a young toddler to stay where he is put for time out? Any other ideas on what works for disaplin?

[Mom2be530]

My son was kinda like that, he is 5 now and much better, but it was rough.  I found on at a early age that spanking Jack just didn't work (Not because I didn't believe in it cause I do).  The first time I spanked Jack, he laughed at me.  Its happened a couple of times and I knew I had to find another way.  Jack is a regular "tuff" kid, but when he knows I'm not happy with him.  Time out's that didn't work for us either.  If I get down on Jack's level, look him in the eyes, and tell him firmly whatever I need to say... You'd a thought I tried to kill him.  I don't do it to hurt his feelings, cause I would never do that.  Its just the only way I have found to get his attention, and I don't have to do it often.  And I never use the word "NO" unless its a true emergency... like if he tried to run into the street when cars are comming.  I said no constantly like you are doing and after a while the word lost its power.  He no longer responded to it.  Then like the other ladies said, choose your battles.  I hope this helps.  Take care.

[AndiJ78]

A time out will only work if you enforce it. If that means sitting right there and putting them back on the naughty chair a million times, that is what you do. Eventually it will work. There is no easy way to discipline a child, it takes a lot of work to get your kids to behave. That is why i have always laughed when people compliment my kids and how lucky i am to have "gotten" polite and respectful children. They certainly didn't come that way!!

T is 3 1/2 and has actually done really well avoiding the ornaments. We have a ton on the tree this year and have it blocked off so CJ doesn't get to it. It is nice to see a tree with lots of ornaments for the first time in 5 years!!

[rubyolivia]

Try to keep in mind that at 23 months, it's not so much about discipline, but about redirecting their behavior. A time out doesn't necessarily have to be sitting down and sitting still until the timer goes off. A time out for a 2 year old can actually be a couple minutes on your lap. Read him a story, show him different toys...just get him engaged in something else.

[tiredbuthappy]

have you tried including him in the festivities? instead of making the whole tree off limits, show him a small part which can be his and let him put non-breakable ornaments there. make sure the tree is tied out so there's no chance of it tipping. if he wants to take his off and put them back on for hours straight, let him. giving him ownership of a small part may make the rest of the tree less tempting. same goes for any other decorations in your house. go out together and let him have some of his own. if he goes to touch yours, gently remind him that he can play with his.

[quorkus]

AndiJ  Said it well.  You have to enforce it!  Just keep putting him in time out over and over.  Make sure it is a nice out of the was place.  We put our 2 year old daughter on the step and ignor her until the 2 minutes is up then we talk to her about what she did wrong.  Don't let him fool you he knows what is going on.  You have to be mean and then it will get easier.

Another thing I do often is redirect.  When I see she is about to do something bad I try to get her to do something else before she does the bad thing.  Then I don't even need to tell her not to do it.  Redirection is a difficult art!  I hope you find something that works for you!

[AndiJ78]

It kills me to watch parents sit and tell a young child no over and over, you really do need to get up and get involved. CJ has a penchant for cords, so rather than telling him no from a distance I get up and kneel down, tell him no, and walk him over to something else. He is just a year old though. With my older 2 once they hit 2, redirection wasn't as effective as was a time out with a message. Every child is different. But the worst thing you can do is be inconsistent. If you will make it a no-no, it ALWAYS has to be a no-no. Tired, sick, no matter what, it remains a no-no. And constantly changing directions with discipline is confusing. Give a method at least two weeks before changing direction.