Possible Apergers help

[TammyLynn1976]

My 11 1/2 year old step son has many of the symptoms of Aspergers and we are trying our best to get him help.  Some of his issues are:

Absolutely no social skills
Awkward walk and poor balance, clumsy
Not into playing kids games or sports
He talks to everyone as if he were their teacher
He has no friends
Has been dx with ADHD and is on medication for it
Flaps his arms when excited
Has a hard time talking.  He stutters and seems as though he is searching for the perfect word.  Talks in a formal way
Wants to be around adults rather than children
Obsessed with video games and YuGiO cards
His grades are well above average
Wets his pants still and has NO shame about it
will change the subject to something he knows about when you try to talk to him
cant keep eye contact in a conversation
looses interest quickly when he does join in a game or physical activities
gets extremely upset when his younger brother does better than he does ( lil brother won more awards at school and he threw a fit at the awards program)
Reads constantly
Teased at school
Dad says he was slow talking and walking when he was a baby.

He doesnt live with us so Im not sure about other behaviors.  It all started when we found out he has been wetting his pants at school.  His mother didn't tell us so we went to speak to his teacher about it and she filled us in on his behaviors and said she had talked with another teacher and they thought he may have aspergers.  When went straight to the library and it would seems that it is most likely the case.

What is your opinion?

Also his mother is not very interested in our opinions, how can we get her to see that he has issues that we need to teach him how to deal with.  His teacher said he seems to want to be social but he just can't...

[Myrna Libby, Ph.D., BCBA]

It sounds like a very difficult situation.  I expect he needs to be evaluated by a treatment team that can diagnose him and then provide treatment if needed.  However, I believe that the legal guardian is the one that has to initiate these things so I am not sure what you can do about this.

[TammyLynn1976]

They have joint custody.  We have the kids every other weekend, every other holiday, etc.  The mother thinks we are trying to undermind her and I think she thinks we are dirt gathering so we can get custody when he turns 12.  That's not the case.  This is not about her its about their son who has some serious social issues.  Him being smart is just not enough.  We just want him to be able to lead a semi-normal life and not be made fun of.  Everything we've read says aspies have to be taught how to act in social situations, to learn how to put their selves out there and we want him to be able to do the things he seems to long to do.  We want whatever is best for him.  

Our main interest is finding out if he does have aspergers.  Does his issues seem to point that way to an expert or someone that has knowledge of AS?

[beancounter68]

My 5 yr old has aspergers and adhd and ocd and ppd.
You just described my son to a t, he was diagnosed at 4. Its suppsed to get easier as they get older and Im waiting for that.
His talking and communicating skills are identicle to yours, his grooming habits and clumsiness are that in the same. He talks mathodicaly to everyone as if he were the instructor of a lecture hall.
However,,,,,,,,,he is compunded with OCD if you can only amagine.
I have been put on cymbalta and xanax cause i havnt taken this all very well.

[beancounter68]

but a wanted to ad...............sorry
that there are so many support groups out there and a lot of patience and exceptance is very important.

[TammyLynn1976]

We are very accepting of whatever may be.  We're relieved to find that all the issues he has been having most likely have a source and are not just from bad parenting.  He's a great kid, we just want to make life easier on him where we can, you know?

Now Im trying to find a child psychologist.  The one our insurance covers in this area is not taking new patients.

Thank you