3 1/2 yr old won't poop on the toilet

[mommaol]

I don't know how to get my daughter to poop on the potty.  I've done the charts, stickers, treats, bought dolls to encourage her.  She does great with peeing.  But she just won't go poop and I can't figure out why.  My husband and I have decided to discipline her by taking a doll away each time she goes in her pants.  I just don't know if this is the right thing to do.  It hasn't worked so far and it's been weeks.  We also tell her how proud we are when she does go on the potty but nothing seems to work.  We're frustrated and don't want to be.  She doesn't use diapers anymore but does use pull ups and underwear.  Pull ups only when we're out of the house.

Can anyone help?  Is disciplining good?

[indigo39]

I had this problem with my son, too. Nothing worked until he decided he was going to. It seemed to be a control thing for him.  Every time I had to change him, though, I just kept telling him how yucky and stinky it was, and how 'none of the big boys' that he knew still went in their underwear. Disciplining didn't seem to have as much affect as telling him how smelly it was.

[Slowe]

Same issue here.  My son will be 4 in March.   He is 100% pee trained but since he refuses to poop on the potty - he is in pull ups for now - he will still pee on the potty.

It is definitely a control thing IMO.   If he hits four and there is still no sign of progress then I may seek help from a parent expert here in the area.  I don't know what else to do.  When I try to encourage it, he holds it for a LONG time (he once went a week).

I keep telling myself - he WILL do it and thankfully his school doesn't require potty training.  We have time......

Also, its not uncommon for it to happen this way from what I've read.   All of my cousin's kids (all four) were not trained 100% until a little after four.  People like to make you feel bad and I admit, I feel A LOT of pressure but he won't be doing this at age 10 or even age 6.

Keep me posted!

[mama2sofi]

I thought my 22 month old would continue seeing the potty as a game - like sit down get up - all done!  but we recently - like a week or so ago - started letting her watch Elmo's pottytime DVD - it is hilarious & wonderful and because she loves Elmo she wants to be like him.  We also combine that with rewards (small piece of chocolate) - she all of a sudden started asking to go.  We are using the Baby Bjorn potty - great as well.

[mama2sofi]

She still wears diapers - we're only in our 1st week - 22mos old.  but yes, she still alternates between her diaper and the potty.  When I was younger it took me almost 4 years to be trained - this was because of a ton of stress in my life - my family gave me up for adoption, and it took me a long time to settle down concentrate and WANT TO be potty trained - childhood trauma can cause that.  If things are calm and other needs are met then it might be easier for toddlers to concentrate, but eventually it will happen.  Also if there is trouble in the home (ie fighting, mean sibs etc) that can distract the process as well.

[mama2sofi]

No offense,  but I said she was still in diapers.  I never said my child had an issue - so why are you asking me if I use suppositories - where is your profile by the way - who are you?  Weird questions.