Labies I got my letter from my adoptive son

[kris123]

I know that I can learn a lot from adoptive parents on here and I want to help you guys understand how it is for birthparents.  The love that all of us can give to our children helps them grow.  I want to share my letter with all of you.

There are no words that can explain how I feel right now.  I went to the post office and got my letter from my son.  Here is what it said - very short but who cares.

Dear Mom,

"I am ok.  I have had a good life so far.  I just went to an air show today with my friends.  I would like to meet you, and get to know you, and introduce you to my friends and family."
Love,
your son
Adam (Seth)

He called me mom and said your son.  We are going to meet in Jan.  I feel so blessed by God.  He has really been good to me (God)  he heard my cry and has come through what a great Father I have.

This is what the adoptive parents wrote in the letter to:

"Thank you for respecting our wishes for NO more contact at this time.
We need a little time to make sure this meeting takes place in the best intrest of Adam and ourselves.
We wish your family a happy holiday this christmas and a wonderful new year
sincerly,
william mary and Adam

I so so happy that I got this letter and feel so blessed his parents are letting me contact him.  They are turely wonder parents.

[Mother of bailey]

I am so happy for u...i have been praying for u and ur familey.....I have never had to give my babys up like u did...but i dont beleve in forcing a teen to give up there child...I know some teen moms who were and still are great parents....sorry if im out of line...but i read ur storry and have been thinking of u.......God Bless...   Valerie

[kris123]

Yr fine.  It is what it is and I am moving on.  The way I look at it is that if I missed only 15 years of him life and I get to spend 50 knowing him - what really was that 15 years.  I am just so amazed at how God moved His hand in this.  It only took about a day to find him.  God has blessed me and answered my prayers.  I give him the glory.

[maybrie]

I'm so happy for and for Adam! I think u are an amazing person and u are handleing this perfectly! I wish that my kids had bio moms like you. I pray God answers your prayers,it seems as though he already has started.

[suzi-q]

Great news...what a gift for the holidays.  Now you can have peace and look forward to a whole new beginning.  You are a great person and your son will be blessed to be able to get to know you.

[k48dolly]

Hi Kris, I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you get Adam to get a hold of you? His adoptive parents sound a little scared by what they had written you, (NO more contact at this time.) I am wondering because my Son's girlfriend who is also adopted, has had some contact with her birth Mother, and of all places to run into her (my space.com) Now she sends her pictures of herself and wants to meet with her. And my Son's girlfriend dosen't know what to do.

[kris123]

I wrote three letters.  The first one I had no idea if I had the right person.  The second I was a bit emotional - it is very painful to go through and not knowing where your child is - a bad feeling.  I think this scared them.  The agency worker called and said that it would be best not to contact them any more, and I wasn't any way.  I only asked for a letter back telling me that he was alive and happy.  That is all I wanted.  It was the aboptive parents that wanted to meet me as well as Adam's.  I never once said in my letters that I wanted to meet him.  It never entered my mind because he is so young.  I think that it is best that they take their time and work through this.  I can wait.  I don't want to overload them or Adam.  They don't know me and I don't know them.  The best thing for your son's girlfriend's mother is to back off a little.  I view my son meeting me as all in his time, not mine.  He and his parents will run the show.  All contact now will come from them first.  I am not a salker and I won't call his hourse, drive by, or send any more letters or picture.  If he wants me to send pictures, he will ask.  He has his life with his family and my hope is to be apart of his life - now or later and if not that is fine as long as he is happy and I am always here for him.  
It is hard because if she tells her she doesn't want to meet, it will really hurt her.  A good thing to say would be that she needs a little time and she will contact her when she is ready.  The pain of losing a child is so so hard and not knowing.  It can overwelm the birth mother and then she can in turn overwelm her child.  The birthmother see her as her baby.  The mother needs to realize that she is not that little baby, but a woman she doesn't not know.  This needs to be done slowly.  It sounds like she is pushing a little.  One needs to see the difference of the past - the baby and the grown woman.