Hi there I'm new to the forum

[MJIthewriter]

I found this forum because I was researching Buropion (welbutrin) side effects to see if it is causing my abdominal pain. My psychiatrist...let's just say I couldn't describe my autism well to her because I was too busy wondering how the heck she got her degree without appearing to know a thing about autism... She gave me the classic “404” look when I told her about PDD. That I can forgive. I said aspersers…still a 404 look. Autism…she looked like a deer frozen in front of the headlights of a car.

I came across one forum which I found fascinating. I love doing research to improve the characters that I write for my stories. I thought I'll click the main link to all the forums, which lead me here. I've been looking for a good autism forum to join.

I used to live in Wisconsin, but had to leave because I could not get health care and was going nowhere with trying to get SSI. (Funny that state prides them self with having some of the best health care in the nation...) With my dad's help I moved to Minnesota where, I've not only got health care, but I got dental health care as well as some spending money from the EBT program.

I'm trying to get SSI and will have my final hearing in January. I'm hoping for good results. Right now I have a hard time leaving the house because I don't know what to do with situations. I thought of it as anxiety, but it could the autism. I currently live with my grandma who has been very helpful and as supportive as she can be.

I'm trying to be an advocate for autistic people and help in what way I can. My dad is excellent at helping others too. He had to become an expert after having me.

[MJIthewriter]

Alright. I'm hoping for more activity on this forum.

Anyways I'm here to try to help you understand your autistic child if you are a parent. Though I'm not a parent, I've lived with autism and struggled through it in the normal school system. I survived through being picked on (violently) by my peers for being different, and I've dealt with distractions, etc and managed to make my way through the public school system to get my high school diploma as well as take a couple years of study in an art college.

Thankfully there is more awareness on autism no than when I was a child.

I can probably relate to your child and help you see the world as they see it. It's a very frustrating world to get along with people who may not understand. I’d like to help in what way I can.

[888mom]

Good luck with trying to get SSI.  Doing anything with the government seems to be worse than getting a wisdom tooth pulled at the dentist.  

You said you wanted to help understand our autistic children.  I am not sure if my daughter is autistic or not (we're waiting to go see a developmental pediatrician in March after the recommendation or her 3 therapists who think she is autistic or PDD).  She's only 2.  When did you/your parents find out you were autistic?  Did it shock them?  I don't think I will be shocked to find out why my daughter has such significant delays, and I know a lot of it has to do with sensory issues.  Both my husband and myself had sensory issues as children, and I still have some sensory issues to this day. So, our daughter having sensory issues, not a shock.  My husband was a late speaker, but he at least had receptive language by age 2.  His first words were all numbers.  Not being able to speak, it's a little frustrating since our daughter so badly wants to talk and understand us, and we are finding with sensory integration therapy, her receptive language is improving daily and she is actually starting to try to babble.  I know having a diagnosis of autism will mean more work for us as parents to teach her things, but we will be happy no matter what the outcome of the diagnosis.

Did you like school when you went to it or did it suck?  Well, school sucked when I was a kid, all through 12th grade, and I guess it sucks for most people.  I still have tramatic memories from being shoved in a locker in 6th grade and left there for a 45 minute class period screaming the whole time and no one heard.  Elementary and middle school were all horrible years, name calling and harrasment.  And I don't think I was different in any way, just a regular Jane Doe.  Maybe that was why I got shoved around.  I really cringe thinking of sending my own daughter to school, after what my husband and I and my sisters and brother and several of my friends all went through in school.  Makes you really think long and hard about home schooling, but with a possibly autistic child, I am not sure that is an option.

Well, hate to ask  you for more info... but well, do you have any advice for us parents as our children  get older?  What will they go through during school?  What things made you happy growing up?  What experiences in life have been good experiences so far?  And what things do you not like at all?  Anyways, you dont' have to answer if you don't want.  I'm not so good at asking questions and you may not having time.

Good luck on your stories!  

[Mozartcowgirl]

HI! +

[MJIthewriter]

I'm not sure if I got all of your questions, but you can also pm me to get my dad's email address. He can be a good resource. I'll see if I can ask him to join the forum.  He helps fill in the gaps of things I may not have understood back then.

For me elementary school was the worst. First grade was fine, though I was not behaving very well as far as the teacher was concerned. I did my own things regardless of what I was supposed to do. I think the teacher pretty much gave up. She didn't try to interfere. I think she just went on with the class without me. I may have been taken to the principal's office a few times. Often I was distracted, would be drawing or running off to the windows to catch flies or any bug I spotted. My parents took me to another school which was nice. They had people with disabilities intergraded in normal classrooms. The students were very forgiving and friendly. The school also had aids that would assist students. I had a helpful one that would give me crayons and other things on occasion. The downside though was they still didn't quite understand my autism. They tried to eliminate insects from my life. They kept me out of class when they were studying about them and they tried to get my parents to remove them. That didn't work at all. Now because of me, they've learned their lesson and I think are trying to work better with future students.

The mistake happened when the school board thought I didn't need to be in their school. They thought I was ED challenged (emotional disorder) rather than a learning disorder.  They worked with my parents to be brought back into the school I was in before. It surprised me that the students who seemed to be fairly tolerant of my behavior in 1st grade (before I got moved to the other school), were not when I went into second grade. They did not forget my behavior and harassed me even though I may have forgotten them. Their special Ed program was set more for a point system rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior. As a result I got a detention I still don't believe I deserved, simply because I had trouble understanding the teachers' verbal directions.  I think subject wise gym and music were my most challenging subjects. Music because I didn't participate. (I have trouble reading music and keeping pace with the rest of the group. Even now in church, I rather quietly listen than try to read and sing.)

Gym was difficult because I'd have to listen to directions and often I'd only remember one step at a time. The detention I got was hinged upon, this class. The teacher said put your jump rope away. I did as told, only she meant later, not right at the moment. She told me I got a detention since I filled every letter of my name. Me, I was thinking "huh?" I didn't get what the cause was.

I got saved from that school when we moved. I spent 5th and 6th grade in another school, still got picked on, but not as severe. I had a hard time doing homework outside of the classroom. Once I got home, I wasn't going to do it. I'd do it as long as I was in the school building.

By middle school, things suddenly improved. The IEP and my parents got me an aid to help lead me to the classrooms. It was helpful having someone to walk with me when I'm walking through a massive crowd of people looking like they are walking straight at me. The teachers seemed to be very kind and I surprisingly did very well. Very few people picked on me, but I didn't have any friends either.
For the most part, high school was pretty much the same. With high school I had a choice between two schools because of my location. I made sure to go with my parents to both schools, talk with their counselors, see what their special Ed program is like, etc. I picked the school that seemed to have the better program and I think that made a big difference.

I think with school, it really helped to know the teachers and for my parents to know them too. If I got along well with a teacher, I could do well in the class. If I didn't get along with the teacher, then different story.

[mjthewriterdad]

well, as u may have guessed, I'm her dad.  

Some states and school districts she grew up were better than others.   It's a ****-shoot where-ever you go.  Maybe the kids are mean and the administration creates the atmosphere unknowingly; maybe the administration is clueless on EEN issues; maybe the teachers are clueless or "retired on the job" or maybe you get a good chemestry mix of all the good stuff and it works out.

Whatever happens, PARENTS:  you gotta be in the forefront of what happens.  I can't stress that enough.  Remember the story  about the tribal village who had one of their children kidnapped and the village  council met and discussed what to do.  In the meantime the mom came back bruised and bloody but with the child in her arms.  The council asked how she did it, mom replied:  "he's not your child, he's mine"

[888mom]

Thank you for letting me know what you went through. It helps me know some what my daughter might go through and what I can look out for and try to stop it from happening in the first place.  I think teachers are better these days with dealing with educational issues.  I'm sorry you had to go through all that.  Most school systems are not great, and then when you throw a learning disability in, it becomes worse.  My sister went through a lot growing up, having some learning disabilities.  Really makes some parents think about homeschooling, but then with educational disabilities, parents may not be trained enough in how to teach their kids, so then you are stuck with the school system.  

It sounds like making sure you know how to get the right IEP is essential, and getting the right school and making sure if our children need an aide to help them, then that is also essential.  And staying on top of things in school.  Because, from my vague memories of growing up and school, I don't think I told my mom or dad much of anything going on.  So that means I will have to stay on top of my daughter's teachers in school.  Everything I said to my parents was just "today was fine," no matter how bad or good it was.  I'm sure my daughter will do the same thing.  My husband does it still when he comes home from work, so I guess we don't outgrow that as adults sometimes either.  

I am not sure what EEN issues are.  My daughter is only 2.  I know I have to start learning all this terminology in the next few years.  Her 3 therapists are starting to recommend to me that she should go to a developmental preschool at age 3, which is through the county school system.  These preschools help children with speech and language delays and also can help with sensory issues with therapists at the schools.  Depending on your child's needs and age, preschool can be anywhere from 1 to 5 days a week.  And even the preschools have an IEP to set up.  I found out at least that I'm in this township that has an excellent developmental preschool and is the top in the area, so at least we don't have to worry about whether or not to move to get a better school.  

Well, this is probably too much you don't want to know about.  But, wanted to thank you for sharing what you did.  I know there are a few other autistic adults or adults with Aspergers on the newsgroup (some with children themselves), and it is helpful to hear from adults.  It is exciting to read that you write stories.  I couldn't write a story to save my life.  

P.S.  You had mentioned Welbutrin and side effects.  I tried taking that awhile back but didn't like the side affects.  I went back on Prozac for a bit and am now off those types and on something else that's not an antidepressant since they werent' working for what the doctor was hoping they would work for.  Plus I also noticed worst side affect of antidepressant was weight gain, in my case.  That's enough to make you more depressed than you were before taking the medicine.  I don't know if you're using it as an antidepressant or for other symptoms from your autism