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Child Behavior Community
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Two four year olds exploring with putting their penis' on each other bottoms
by RMS123, Dec 20, 2007 03:49PM
On Thanksgiving my 12 year old daughter overheard my four year old son saying to his four year old male nephew "let me put my penis in your butt" while playing in the bedroom along with my two year old son. My daughter came to the kitchen and told me immediately and I went into the room to find both four year olds with their pants down and my two year old with no pants nor his diaper on. They were scrambling to pull up their pants. My sister and I seperated them to talk with them about what they were doing. After all talks it was determined that it was my nephew's idea to remove their pants, my son's idea as to where to "put their penis' " and all of them had sniffed each other's penis'. Both older boys swear that they did not get the idea from anyone and that my four year old came up with it. It was a "game". I have went down every possible way to ask carefully that nothing has ever happened to him at the hands of anyone. It seems clear that it was just exploration but I am concerned at where he got the idea of where to put his penis.
My four year old has been pretty obsessed with his bottom. Bending over to pass gas or pretending to be peeing on stuff is a fun pasttime for him even though it is discoraged. He has touched his bottom and smelled it or just pretended to put toys up his anus. Also saying "butt", "poop", "penis" or any of those words are all good fun for him and his brother.
Today I was watching the same nephew as the Thanksgiving incident and it happened again only this time they both actually put their penis' ON each other's bottoms. They were alone for maybe five minutes. When asked what happened my son asked me "how much did you see?". I told him I saw everything but wanted to hear from him what he was doing. He said told me that it was his idea and he just wanted to do it. I again asked him if anyone had ever tried to "play a game" like that with him or if anyone had touched him, asked him to keep secrets etc. Again the answer was no but this time he did say that the neighbor boy (age 7) pulled down his own pants and told him to touch him with his foot.
I seperated the boys, called my sister and ended up having grandma come to pick up my nephew. We told them that they had been told before what was appropriate and that they were told not to do that again so they could not play together if they could not follow the rules. They were not being punished for what they did rather for not following the rules.
My sister and brother-in-law are insistant that something has been done to my son. While I am very concerned with his behavior, after talking to him I do not feel that this is the case. My brother-in-law does not want them around each other anymore and wishes to file charges against my son so that the problem will be investigated. I have called my pediatrician and am awaiting a call back.
A little about my family dynamic:
My husband and I have been apart for almost two years. He immediately got a new girlfriend with three kids ages 13 (girl) , 8 and 6 (both boys). When I told my husband about Thanksgiving he was not concerned and said that his GF's boys had done stuff like that to each other such as drawing circles around each other's buttholes, playing doctor, touching and "normal" stuff like that. My four year old says that thos boys have not done anything to him.
My neighbor is my babysitter. She is the parent of the 7 year old who asked my son to touch him with his foot. My boys are not over there very often, maybe twice a month for a few hours. Not gonna happen anymore.
They do not go to daycare. Only my sister and my mother watches them outside of the neighbor.
To my knowledge they have never seen any sexually explicit things nor have they walked in on any private bedroom time at their father's house (I do plan to ask him when he comes for them tomorrow).
Any advice? Any suggestions? Any thoughts? All would be appreciated. Thank you.
My four year old has been pretty obsessed with his bottom. Bending over to pass gas or pretending to be peeing on stuff is a fun pasttime for him even though it is discoraged. He has touched his bottom and smelled it or just pretended to put toys up his anus. Also saying "butt", "poop", "penis" or any of those words are all good fun for him and his brother.
Today I was watching the same nephew as the Thanksgiving incident and it happened again only this time they both actually put their penis' ON each other's bottoms. They were alone for maybe five minutes. When asked what happened my son asked me "how much did you see?". I told him I saw everything but wanted to hear from him what he was doing. He said told me that it was his idea and he just wanted to do it. I again asked him if anyone had ever tried to "play a game" like that with him or if anyone had touched him, asked him to keep secrets etc. Again the answer was no but this time he did say that the neighbor boy (age 7) pulled down his own pants and told him to touch him with his foot.
I seperated the boys, called my sister and ended up having grandma come to pick up my nephew. We told them that they had been told before what was appropriate and that they were told not to do that again so they could not play together if they could not follow the rules. They were not being punished for what they did rather for not following the rules.
My sister and brother-in-law are insistant that something has been done to my son. While I am very concerned with his behavior, after talking to him I do not feel that this is the case. My brother-in-law does not want them around each other anymore and wishes to file charges against my son so that the problem will be investigated. I have called my pediatrician and am awaiting a call back.
A little about my family dynamic:
My husband and I have been apart for almost two years. He immediately got a new girlfriend with three kids ages 13 (girl) , 8 and 6 (both boys). When I told my husband about Thanksgiving he was not concerned and said that his GF's boys had done stuff like that to each other such as drawing circles around each other's buttholes, playing doctor, touching and "normal" stuff like that. My four year old says that thos boys have not done anything to him.
My neighbor is my babysitter. She is the parent of the 7 year old who asked my son to touch him with his foot. My boys are not over there very often, maybe twice a month for a few hours. Not gonna happen anymore.
They do not go to daycare. Only my sister and my mother watches them outside of the neighbor.
To my knowledge they have never seen any sexually explicit things nor have they walked in on any private bedroom time at their father's house (I do plan to ask him when he comes for them tomorrow).
Any advice? Any suggestions? Any thoughts? All would be appreciated. Thank you.
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Good luck to you.
RMS123 I think your son should see someone because you never know...
My great nephew came over angry one day when I was watching him. His Mom told me that she had caught him and his sister messing around and he was mad. I asked him, "Why are you so angry?" and his response floored me. He said, "I don't see why we got in trouble and Don (Mom's boyfriend) didn't." He continued to talk and told me how Don was the one that taught him the game (pee pee in the butt game) and he should be in trouble too. Well I responded as I should have and that boyfriend is gone.
I would get your son in therapy asap. In order to be able to protect your son, you may need a therapist to testify in court for you someday. Sometimes things may seem so innocent but until you find out all of the details you really can't tell.