so sad

[dyblue]

  I have been married for 14 years, In the past month my husband has had a complete personality change .  Got a new phone and I wasn't given the number got if off the call display not supposed to ask when he's comming home stays out all night and says hes at work he could very well be but he doesn't have to be so mad and angry all the time.  He told me we are just together for the kids we have 2 one special needs and the other add.  He said what do you want from me I said love he said get a boyfriend.  we don't have sexI've talked about it  and  want to but he seems not to notice me.  I have become finacially dependent on him and we are broke he's working extra hours and I don't see the extra money he has lots of bills but he won't tell how bad it is.  I buy groceries with my child tax credit and I could use more money but he said he doesn't have any its none of my business.  Its 50 5o my fault for being in lalla land I quess taking care of my boys.  He seems like he hates me and looks at me with disdain.  I'm so sad., I feel sick

[lavenderrose]

I would definitely leave him.  He would have to pay alimony and child support.  You can get a job.  You don't deserve to be treated this way.  Get out now!  There are other men out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.  Don't put up with this sh*t.  Staying is just hurting your self esteem.  

Good luck!

[dyblue]

  thanks for answering I will be looking for a job and then I'm taking a course You're right my self esteem is zero.  I'm going to councelling for myself I need to be my best for my boys, I know after I get over the saddness I'll be mad and be able to channel that energy into something positive come to think of it it's been going on the lack of respect I mean for awhile. never wanted to look at it always making excuses for hinm he's tired etc sounds like I'm co dependent or something, never again will I be dependent on anyone in the future.  Im only in my middle fourty's martyr om sure as heck aint where its at thanks again for validating my feeling.  I'm starting to feel stronger already.

[ibizan]

what a piece of **** ur hub!damn!get employed...u have a full plate with ur children!My father now gone gathered us girls together years ago.He sed I want u girls to get ur educations and be able to fend for urselves..never depend on a man 2 take care of u for one day he may leave u or die and u r there with nothing!Such words of wisdom..and u must be wore down with the needs of ur special children.....the stress of this worthless man will compund if it fu stay with him....so make ur plans put in2 action and move forward!ur in my prayers!

[teko]

Who the hell is he and where do they get off! Lose em! Tell him to go find someone else to put up with his charming personality! Tell him to make sure they like children too. Cause he is gonna have em on weekends so you can get your life back! What a jerk!

[Jaybay]

Don't forget to speak with an attorney before you make a move to leave the house and marriage.  I would hate to see you lose your home and financial support through simple ignorace of the laws in your area.  You may even have to go to court while to force him to pay support while the legal mess proceeds.  Protect yourself and your children with the best legal advice you can get.  Depending on where you live, you may need to gather solid evidence of his adultery to get a fair settlement.  He's already scr*wed you once; don't let him do it twice.

[Sugasmackingood]

Girl, everytime you lower your standards and stand that kind of treatment that you clearly do not deserve you lose a piece of yourself.  If you do not get out you may lose yourself completely and settle for this.  Your boys deserve the best you you can give.  Go for it!!!   Love yourself

[dyblue]

    Yes we are getting a divorce I hate him at the moment I have special needs children what a jerk he is.  It's going to be tough but I will be ok with me and my boys don't want them learning how to treat women that way.  Thanks.

[teko]

If you need to vent or just talk, come back you know where we are. Good Luck! Take him to the cleaners!

[freephilly]

I recognize this behavior.  He is supporting another woman and that is why he has no money.  Go to an attorney and get as much child support out of him as you possibly can.  Be ruthless.  Do it for those precious kids.  

I commend you on taking courses and learning how to make it on your own.  You are a survivor.  You will get through this!  Your husband is a retard!  Lose him.

Regards,
Phyllis