Eating Disorders and OCD

[seagull102]

I am 42 years old and have been dealing with a variety of eating disorders for most of my life.  I was anorexic as a teen and then developed binge eating.  I was never able to purge by vomiting, but used exercise, laxatives, diuretics, etc.  As an adult, I have had periods in my life when I am at a low weight, but not dangerously low.  Currently, I am in that situation--I have lost weight to about 102-105 pounds, and am completely obsessed with food.  I constantly count the number of calories I have eaten, and get anxious if I can't figure out how many calories I have consumed.  I WANT to binge, but have been resisting the urge.  I am most comfortable when I can eat food that I can measure or weigh and then tally the calories.  Is there any part of this that sounds like it is OCD?  I have tried taking anti-depressants and haven't found them helpful in the past.  Would Topamax be an option for someone like me?  I want to relax about food and weight (I live with a spouse who is also somewhat weight-obsessed) but I am afraid to let go.  Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

[dmn]

there are a lot of different types of ocd and it is weird because some of them only effect certain aspects of your life. one of the reasons ,and this is only a suggestion, is that you and you spouse should be together in this. it is very hard for someone to quit something while another person is doing it infront of you. it would be like a recovering crack addict living with other crack heads. its good that you have not been purging though.

good luck. hope i sorta helped :)

[lucy1122]

It looks to me like you are looking for a physiological solution to an emotional issue...a magic pill.  In my opinion, the OCD and the disordered eating are symptoms of some deeply embedded emotional pain.  I bet if you found a way to address that pain, the answers to your behaviors will be manageable. Emotional paid wants our attention, that is why it is expressed in such obvious, desctructive behaviors such as OCD, eating disorders, addiction.  

This is my take on your situation..,and I feel for you.  Find a way to get through to your pain.  Perhaps there is a gift in this for you.