Help me i know what i am doing is wrecking my body and i want to stop NOW

[Dietdont]

I have been reading all about laxatives and the hell they do with your body and im scared really scared and have just thown away all the laxatives i have left.

I have been a very bad yoyo dieter for so many years and abused laxatives. the last few weeks I have been taking about 8-10 - combination of senokot and ducolax everyday.

I knows its a life threatening  addiction. I am struggling with my weight and the result of a very difficult wisdom teeth op in sept,  and stress from work adn living so far a ways from my home adn familyhas made me bing and purge - the darkest time in my past 15 years of foing this becasue of the number of binges i have , the lacsk of slef control and the laxatives which i take.
I KNOW ITS WRONG - AND I TOTALLY HATE MYSELF

can anyone give some hints to get out of this cycle? I am 31 and dont want to die of laxative overdose and can i have a normal digestibve system again??????????

Pleaseanyone?

[krzeaz]

I was bulimic and also used laxatives at one time.  I have stopped the purging after seeing counselors and also an inpatient treatment center.  There is a self help group named Overeaters Anonymous which helped me A LOT.  They have books and a magazine for compulsive eaters.  Also they have meetings -- check your local phone directory.
There is an author named Geneen Roth who has written a few books ("When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair" is one I got a lot of help from.)  I still struggle with overeating sometimes, but nothing like it was.  What I learned is to be present when I eat.  In other words, don't  eat so fast I don't realize and appreciate and enjoy the food I am eating.  It is the opposite of what I believed when i was so sick and unable to stop purging.  I lost a college roommate since I lost control of my bowels while fully clothed, while overusing laxatives.  It was yrs ago but I still feel shame when I think of it.
I had to learn that if I inhale food and purge it, I don't get satisfied and I can eat and eat and not feel satisfied.  I would always eat fast or watch tv to blot out the eating, or read a book.  My mind was a million miles away.  Now I try to eat and pay attention to the taste.  Geneen Roth's books explain it.  

Also, i had a lot of help from counselors and started taking antidepressants which helps deal with the carb cravings.  It didn't solve the whole problem, but it helps.
Had to learn to respect my body and pay attention to hunger, not ignore it like I had done for yrs.  If I starve myself, in the end the result will be a binge for me.  I am now able to maintain a low-normal weight without starving or purging, no ipecac, no laxatives.  It took a while, didn't happen overnight.  you are on your way to recovering because you are saying you want to stop.