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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
is my son being molested?
Answered by
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. - Sexuality, family, Sexual Identity
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
is my son being molested?
by jinny401, Dec 28, 2007 03:03PM
hi everyone. i'm a bit confused i don't know what to do. my 2 year old son puts his finger in his bum when i'm changing his nappy. it's been happening gradually for a while . the only person that changes him is his dad and he likes to wash him instead of using wipes, so he does it upstairs. after a while i asked him if he's seen him putting his fingers in his bum he said no.
i don't know what to think he doesn't seem distresed and he's very attached to his dad even though he spends the whole day with me. please help
i don't know what to think he doesn't seem distresed and he's very attached to his dad even though he spends the whole day with me. please help
Doctor's Answer
by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Jan 01, 2008 10:41PM
, Jan 01, 2008 10:41PM
To: is my son being molested?
I don't think this is proof of anything. Kids are fascinated with their butt and with feces and with all their body parts at this age. So thats not an issue in general. Your husband's behavior doesn't sound suspicious to me-- is there anything else about your husband's past that would make you suspicious? If you are worried, do a google search on his background- however, if this is your only evidence for worry- it doesn't seem likely to me.
It is a terrible thing to think your partner could have be a sexual predator. Sadly, some husbands do turn out to be sexuall disturbed- but if there are no other signs of strangeness I would hate for you to suspect him- it would certainly unravel a relationship. Just to quiet your mind, why don't you go up with him when he washes him and see if it seems odd to you in any way. If you see no signs of unusual conduct- I woul just not worry about it unless something else happens that is worrisome..
It is a terrible thing to think your partner could have be a sexual predator. Sadly, some husbands do turn out to be sexuall disturbed- but if there are no other signs of strangeness I would hate for you to suspect him- it would certainly unravel a relationship. Just to quiet your mind, why don't you go up with him when he washes him and see if it seems odd to you in any way. If you see no signs of unusual conduct- I woul just not worry about it unless something else happens that is worrisome..
Member Comments (2)
by leggs198, Dec 28, 2007 05:52PM
To: jinny401
I also have a 2 year old that is always putting his finger in his butt. He is definitely not being molested. He gets iritated a lot there, so i keep vaseline there. My husband hardely changes him. That sounds a little fishy, about your husband changing him the way he does.Maybe you should look into that
