Why did my "HOW MUCH $ DO WE SPEN ON PILLS" get deleted?

[oxyaddict420]

I am curious as to why my post got deleted. I tried to check up on it and cant find it.. Then in the upper corner it said something about insufficient priveledges to view!! Whats this ****?  I thought we could discuss ANYTHING!! WHAT HAPPENED TO NOTHING IS TABOO???????

I wanted to share my experince with people about how much pills cost to get outside of the DR office and also share how much money I spend on pills per month as well.  

This for me was a chance to get real about the actual funds that were being blown on PILLS!  And to also let others post it and look at it and go " WOW THAT IS ALOT" Maybe then we would think twice. Maybe not, but why the resrictions on wanting to discuss an actual LEGIT TOPIC?!?!?!?!?!

[msinsane]

you seem to alwasy be sirring up trouble lol lmao what you done did this time ms insane talking to mr insane

[uvlvrebel]

from what I understood, discussion of prices or where to get illegal drugs is taboo b/c it will give "drug seekers" real answers to these questions and a source to use for "how to get/ how much it costs"... I am thinking MED HELP is practicing the century old custom of CYA.

[addictedme]

My guess is uvlrebel is right,,I believe someone else got in trouble for it.

[oxyaddict420]

I am not trying to start trouble,nor am I trying to make pills available to ANYONE!!  I was hoping that if everyone that participated in the thread would look at it and say "WOW THIS IS WHAT I PAY THESE THESE PILLS?!"  "THIS IS HOW MUCH I SPEND ON PILLS?!" and then think I could really use that money for more important things.  I thought it is a great idea to put the truth out there about what prices are on street drugs.  But a DR. cant understand that, just like alot of stuff they cannot relate to.. This also makes me feel like I am being watched.

So when I open up and share honest and hard to re-live memories about bad things I have done in my past, I have to worry about some higher up person that moderates, and watches with objection?  THAT ISN'T RIGHT!!! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL OR WRONG!

Alot of us have admitted to buying pills not using a DR script, yet why arent those cancelled??!?!?!!  I was getting really used to this site and feeling like I could share, and talk about anything.. EVIDENTILY NOT!!  

[troubleinohio]

yep you are being watched here for sure, lol. Im still mad that Beach got banned from this site. Have you ever seen any of his old posts on here? if not, you should look through the archives...

[oxyaddict420]

I didnt know i was being monitered by someone that can judge and decide what is right and wrong.. Hell most of the **** that is done with these pills is iolegal in one way or another!  It is a FEDERAL LAW TO NOT EXCHANGE MEDS TO ANYONE OTHER THAN WHO IT IS DIRECTED FOR! Not news to any of us right? But if thats the case, then when someone types in about taking a pill that someone gave them, or using cocaine, then why isnt that deleted?  It is just Bias(sp) I dont feel comfortable to be 100% honest anymore, and that was the #1 reason i was here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MissBecca24]

I think that its ****! I dont think that someone else that has no clue how we feel or what we are going through should be able to delete something that might be the one thing that we need an answer to. I think that they should have sent you a mail first and maybe told you guidelines but not just deleted it and said oh well deal with it ! What a crock! Im so sorry that it happened!!!

Becca

[oxyaddict420]

Thank you SO MUCH FOR UNDERSTANDING! I agree totally with what you said too.  I am glad to hear others feel the same way about being restricted on what you can post on this site. Like I said I have seen alot more illegal type posts and admissions on here than what i posted.. I did nothing wrong.. You are right.. An email, something. I dont even know who did it or why!!!! How weak is that? Now I am supposed to trust posting my 100% open truths about my pills addiction whch has alot to do quite frankley with getting pills from other than a DR.. watch them track me down and kick me off here for having a mind that works and using it to try and help others..

[traveladdict]

I posted this under gizzy done with this form thought I woud put the same here . Think the point on pricing is that it makes some that have started the road to recovery look back.  the point of this forum is to look to the future being drug free and strong.  whit the support of others pressing them to move forward and not look back.  I now know I really dont want to spend mental time in the past.

[oxyaddict420]

I understand what you are saying, but that is one persons opinion, and maybe even a few peoples opinion.. but that is what I thought this forum was about everyone being able to share THEIR OWN OPIIONS ON WHAT HELPS! What helps you might not help me. and if reading a post like that makes some look back then dont go into the post that is CLEARLY STATED about what it is....  I was just wrong about a few things on this forum, but deosnt mean I will bash it or leave. I just think it isnt right to play god when do many people say so many differnt thnings.. If what you say is true than I could have said about 15-20 posts make me think back and want to use.  Is that a legit exucse for me? NO-- I just wanted to get honest and real about EVERY ASPECT OF MY ADDICTION!!  By the replies i was getting it seems that others might have agrred as well.. NO-ONE WILL EVER AGRRE WITH EVERYONE!!!

[gizzy32]

for me, and maybe me only, i need to look back in the past. im at a point where i am now accepting that i ****** up big time with drugs and that experience has made me who i am today. i am stronger and more of a man now, then i have ever been. the only way for me to forgive myself is to look back at that hell of a life i was living. thinking about the past helps me to create a future without drugs. this is only my opinion, but i don't think it is healthy to forget what we went through, or what we spent on drugs, for me, remembering is what helps me to stay clean. day 49, woo hoo, new record.

[MissBecca24]

if we all agreed why would we be here ? we could go outside and the person in the house next door who is out there to water their lawn would tell us just what we wanted to hear and we wouldnt need to find a place like this to find what we need. We are all different and the sooner people get that the better this will be. Just because something works for one does not mean it will for another and that goes the other way also. We need to hear what everyone says not just what people say that we believe or think is right! nobody is wrong here its just that everyone has a different way of saying things!

[traveladdict]

Point taken.  Is all good.  

[traveladdict]

It is good that you are looking back to reflect.  Hopefully through those reflections you can become stronger to make a better future.  Stay strong.

[avisg]

No threads about pill costs are not allowed .I think we all know we have spent TONS on money on pills wasted and leave it at that .
Avissssssssssssss

[1234betterlife]

not being a smarta*** but you all do realize that everything you type onto the internet. either on this site or myspace or anywhere else is not private...it can be read at any time. bear that in mind when communicating.

[msinsane]

you better not go anywhere and i do agree looking at the ammount we spend on these pills is something i needed to do it has brought reality out of the closet that was what i needed to makke it till day 10

no one will truly understand the life of an addict unless they have been through it shoot i use to be the person who said NEVER ME  and look at me i am ONLY on day 10 and more proud than ever  and oxy you know im here for you !!!!  one thing i know about you    youare very honest about things soooo this forum could use you   ms insane

[CATUF]

Try to not take offense at the deletion or feel attacked by it.  

I didn't take your post about cost as offensive.  

However, I did stop in the middle of a response to it and deleted what I had already typed.  It struck me that my responding was firing up a war-story thinking pattern that I find to be counter to Recovery.  My exact thought was "I do NOT need to be engaged in this line of thinking," so I hit escape twice and closed my browser.

Addiction is a subtle and cunning enemy.  I find that it often tries to sneak up on me disguised as something harmless and even something helpful.  In responding to your post about cost, it would seem that I would have the helpful thoughts about how much money I had wasted, the negative impact of that waste on all aspects of my life and those that depend on me, and how I never, ever want to do such a thing again.  And I did have all those helpful thoughts.

But underneath those helpful thoughts were almost hidden, far from helpful thoughts about buying and using.  They made me feel distinctly uncomfortable.  I do not think I would have been aware of the under current in early recovery. It would have been there, but I wouldn't have noticed it.  At this point, I tend to pay pretty close attention to such under currents.  I find that's very important to my Recovery.

CATUF
Day-935

[oxyaddict420]

I respect all of your opinions! AS I ALWAYS HAVE Whether I agree or not.. All I wanted was to be honest about that and try to make a point on that issue.  If it was a touchy subject then I suggest to not even enter that paticular thread. We have choices and to not post is your right.. im glad that you didnt finish if it made you feel those old cravings..  Some understand, others dont..Do I think it is right or equal, or fair that it was dismissed, when so many others stuff I find WAY MROE OFFENSIVE IS LEFT UP???? NO I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL...!!

IT IS OVER AND THATS THAT!!  I really am not going to lose sleep over this(not a pun to my good friend msinsane)lol--

All I want is to be honest and tackle my addiction MY OWN WAY.. Not in the way OTHERS SEE FIT!!  I do not judge others, and wish RECOVERY FOR EVERYONE THAT WANTS AND NEEDS IT...

This thread really doeant need to be responded to anymore.. At least not from me.. I have made my point clear..