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Too Kinky:Relationship Killer?
by Elle21, Dec 31, 2007 04:34AM
I am in a monogamous relationship with my fiance, and to put it this way, we have no sexual hang ups. Lately, I guess our sexual relationship has gotten more on the "kinky" side and im concerned that eventually my fiance wont see me as the "wife/mother" type. My fiance is fairy laid back, alhough a little old school with his ideas, and a little conseravtive.See as much as he loves his "freak in the bed" he very much perfers a lady at all other times. He likes when I look "pretty" or "beautiful" as opposed to what i call a "video Hoe-fessional" I dont know I guess im just worried bc he used to talk about us trying to get pregnant and frequently told me how much he loved me, and now hes more focused on what "toy" we can order next,and says i love you much less frequently.......did my openess backfire? I want t make a point to say our relationship is wonderful other than that,Has anyone else gone through this? Did I taint something?
Member Comments (6)
by Jaybay, Dec 31, 2007 10:38AM
You won't know what he's thinking until you drag it out of him. Step away from the computer, and sit down and have a good talk about this issue with your fiance.
by jml1986, Dec 31, 2007 10:42AM
I have been a mother for over 20 years, and I can tell you that my husband loves me and respects me for that, but when it comes to the bedroom, we tear it up. So have no fear, you can have the best of both worlds.
by Crystlas, Dec 31, 2007 06:07PM
To: Elle
The pre-parental stage is the time to be kinky and crazy. My fiance and I already had that talk. We realize that once we have a child, we only want one, that things will change for our sexual relationship. No more kinky toys to porn movies in the living room for instance. So, enjoy this stage. If he is trying to have more kinkiness right now, have fun with it. However, I agree with Jaybay, communication is the key. Does your fiance tell you he loves you on a daily basis? That is healthy for young couples. My finace and I make a point of saying "I love you" to each other every day. As long as he is telling you he loves you, I would not worry. Mine stopped doing that daily too. Men think once they tell you they love you, it is a done deal. Women need reassurance and I am the reassurance queen! LOL... I told him I like to be told daily and I like a nice kiss daily, and he does that for me. Go talk with your sweetheart! Good luck and keep us posted!
by Elle21, Jan 01, 2008 09:53AM
To: everyone
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Thanks for responding. I have talked to him, and he claims that he didnt realize he stopped saying "i love you" as often, and he is going ot try and work on that.Its comforting to know that there are woman who are open to talk about this...some things you just dont entirely want to disuss with your own mother no matter how old you get lol. This advice came with perfect timing bc my fiance was already ready to order more stuff! I just desparatly want to be a mother soon, so if I shouldnt worry, im going to try not to :)
by teko, Jan 01, 2008 11:50AM
Well, if ya want to be a mom, then are we talking something more permanent between the two of you? Is there something your not telling us. I think the perfect marriage for a man is where you can be the wife and mom outside the bedroom and his every fantasy inside the bedroom. When he is happy, so will you be. my mom always told me that you know when you are truly in love when your concern is what you can do to make them happy instead of what they can do to make you happy! She also told me that you can fall in love with a rich man as easy as a poor man. Of course I was the rebellious teen who did not listen to a thing she had to say cause I knew it all! So, I am selfish and poor!
by Crystlas, Jan 01, 2008 01:50PM
To: Ellie
I am glad you talked to him and happy new year to you! Don't be in too much of a rush for a baby, it changes everything. Enjoy being engaged, then enjoy a couple of years being married. How old are you anyhow? We are waiting to adopt, I can not have a child, until after I get done with graduate school and I will be in my late 30's. That is ok. We want a child, but we are enjoying being able to get up and go too! So when we have been married a bit, we will settle down into parenthood. Best wishes!
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