Is it too early?

[Exhausted498]

My 4 1/4 year old boy can be very sweet and is clearly intelligent.  He has always been high energy, so to speak, but in social situations he is a disaster.  He gets really overstimulated and can't seem to come down and it usually ends up in someone crying.  One-on-one we can control his behavior pretty well with time-outs but we tried preschool and were basically encouraged to remove him from the school because he was too much to handle.  We can't decide if he truly has a problem or if this is a maturity thing.  It is all MUCH worse in any situation involving kids.  Where should we go from here, or should we just wait and try school again next year (he will be 5 next September and we will definitely hold him back in terms of kindergarten.)

[LRM1021]

Hi.  Your situation sounds like mine- a high energy, difficult temperment child-- a child who took a lot more attention and work than other ones seemed to take. I took my son out of day care for the same reasons you mention- he was very aggressive with other children and could not seem to calm down. By the time we put him in Kindergarten ( he was 5 1/2), he still displayed some aggressive tendencies. It really showed that he had not been in pre-school, especially compared to his peers in class. Thankfully, he was able to overcome his aggressive tendencies.  By the middle of Kindergarten, he had ceased being aggressive. But it took a lot of time, constructive parenting, and feedback to get him to learn to control his impulses with regards to other children. I don't think he could have been successful in a social situation when he was younger- he needed more time to grow up.

In the end, he was very successful in Kindergarten, and is doing pretty well in first grade (academics have never been an issue for him.) However, I should point out that he is still easily distracted, easily overstimulated, too talkative, and fidgety. We had him evaluated this year and he was diagnosed with mild ADHD. I find that I must continually work hard at parenting him -- lots of positive feedback for good behavior, rewards, and also concrete, firm, consistent consequences for rule violations. He is not currently on medication, as his case is "mild" and at this point he is not having any academic or serious behavior issues (other than talking too much and being fidgety!)Some children are going to require more work than others, I am told. Oh well:)
I would talk to your child's pediatrician or a child psychiatrist about getting him evaluated. They might have suggestions about how to successfully introduce him to social situations, and could tell you whether or not his behavior is within the realm of normal or whether he could use extra help.

[patandg1]

LRM1021

I totally agree with everything.  We noticed our son at 3 had some disability issues.  He was behind schedule as far as learning his abc's, color's etc.  So we had him examined by our Pedi.  She then sent him to a Physcologist (sp).  We also had his hearing tested to make sure he was not learning because he couldn't hear.  The school tested him and found he had a speech disabilty so they accepted him into the prek program.  He had very rough year.  Very hyper, very talktative and fidgety.  So after all the test he was finally diagnosed with ADHD.  he is currently on Adderall and it has made a huge difference.  Since his has ADHD he also qualified for  the 504 program in public school.  Which allows him for separate tutoring, etc.  This has really helped him alot.  He is now in 3rd grade and going great.  We stay very involved with his teachers and immediately let them know he has ADHD so they have more patience with him.  In the past year we did have to up his dose to adderall in the morning and athephemine salts at lunch time.  I do hate the fact it has affected his appetite.  He was a very picky eater before the meds and now he is really struggling.  We have to make separate meals for him on a daily basis and pack his lunch everday.  I make sure he has a good breakfast in the morning in case he doesn't eat for lunch.  As soon as he arrives from school we immediately have him work on his homework because he is still focused.  The good thing about the meds is that he is still the bubbly boy we love but less calm.  I do see anothe side effect where he can be very emotional at times.  After you have seen by your pedi & child psycharist or pyschologist then you can talk to your school about the 504 program. I live in Texas and they offer to our kids in public school.  

[Clariposita]

this sounds like my son except for the agressive part.  the school tested him for special education but he doesn't need it. he does however need a lot of attention.  he's too young to be tested for adhd in my area.

[moneehonee]

Adderall xr does not seem to work on my daughter. been 5 days. Adderall xr 5 mg. maybe the dose isn't strong enough?

[moneehonee]

Forgot to mention shes 5 yrs old. Only 41 lbs