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Child Behavior Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to child behavior, discipline (behavior management), parent-child communications, and social development.
Smart 13 yr old w/cocky attitude
by Linda71, Jan 03, 2008 10:49PM
Hello,
My son will be 13 yrs old in two weeks. He has always been a very bright child. Through his elementary school years his teachers would ask me to place him in advanced classes, and once was advised to skip him a grade up, which he did not want. He did not want to leave his friends behind and absolutely did not want to have anything to do with advanced classes. I respected his wishes and he had a normal elementary school experience.
In the last two years I have noticed that he, himself, has come to the realization of his mental capacity. Unfortunately, I think that with this realization his attitude has changed a lot. He has become this cocky ( I feel horrible having to use this word in regards to my own son, but it describes this attitude the most) ***. He has always had some anger issues, for which we did Seek professional psychotherapy help. The therapist told me that he is not only very intelligent, but also extremely sensitive; therefore needed extra understanding and Patience. I have done the best that I can as a single parent; things get better for a little while, and then we are back to square one. In the past two years he has been grounded more than in his entire life. He is bored, but doesn't want any extra classes, his grades are going down b/c he does not turn in HW and assignments, but has A+ on all quizzes and test. The ony time I see him happy now, is when he is with his friends. He has about 6 close friends that he has known since elementary school, who are also very bright, except for one. When he is with them he seems so happy, or when they sleep over, and when he stays over any of his friends house the parents are thrilled with him. I hear comments like, "respectful, considerate, helpful, polite". It's like they are talking about another child.
I do not know what else to do! I am at my wits end. I have talked to him, taken privileges away, and there are not many privileges in our house so you would think that would work. HELP!!
Any help and advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Linda
My son will be 13 yrs old in two weeks. He has always been a very bright child. Through his elementary school years his teachers would ask me to place him in advanced classes, and once was advised to skip him a grade up, which he did not want. He did not want to leave his friends behind and absolutely did not want to have anything to do with advanced classes. I respected his wishes and he had a normal elementary school experience.
In the last two years I have noticed that he, himself, has come to the realization of his mental capacity. Unfortunately, I think that with this realization his attitude has changed a lot. He has become this cocky ( I feel horrible having to use this word in regards to my own son, but it describes this attitude the most) ***. He has always had some anger issues, for which we did Seek professional psychotherapy help. The therapist told me that he is not only very intelligent, but also extremely sensitive; therefore needed extra understanding and Patience. I have done the best that I can as a single parent; things get better for a little while, and then we are back to square one. In the past two years he has been grounded more than in his entire life. He is bored, but doesn't want any extra classes, his grades are going down b/c he does not turn in HW and assignments, but has A+ on all quizzes and test. The ony time I see him happy now, is when he is with his friends. He has about 6 close friends that he has known since elementary school, who are also very bright, except for one. When he is with them he seems so happy, or when they sleep over, and when he stays over any of his friends house the parents are thrilled with him. I hear comments like, "respectful, considerate, helpful, polite". It's like they are talking about another child.
I do not know what else to do! I am at my wits end. I have talked to him, taken privileges away, and there are not many privileges in our house so you would think that would work. HELP!!
Any help and advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Linda
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And her friends' parents all say the same thing about her; she's respectful, polite, considerate, charming, a real joy to have over, blah blah blah. If only they knew, lol.
Be patient, it is just a puberty thing combined with the newfound "independence" they feel they're experiencing as a teen. My sister's attitude has improved a little bit in the last year, but she still thinks she knows everything and her poop don't stink on average of five days a week!
I've come to find that the most successful way I can deal with her, as her sister, is to either ignore the attitude completely or put my foot down when it gets out of hand (she stays at my house a couple days a week) by telling her she's being a rude you-know-what and to cut it out, or I won't take her to taekwondo classes (which is why she stays at my house). But when she's being polite and helpful and considerate, I point it out to her with lots of praise. I tell her how much I appreciate her help around the house and with my son, or how pleasant she is to be around and that I'm glad to spend time with her.