"Playing it safe" 7 year old girl

[jt866]

I admit I have been pressuring my now 7 year old daughter to learn ever since she was a baby.  I'm afraid I am starting to see a backfire.  She has become very reluctant at times.  She's always playing safe and not wanting to venture outside of her comfort zone i.e. playing with her friends.  I wonder if this is all my doing.  I have recently started to cut her slack and try to do more listening than talking, try to make her feel important by making her thoughts count etc.  Sometimes, parenting this child taxes me to the limit.  I know she is very capable but she just doesn't want to do anything if left to her own accord.  I try to relax and not pressure her but it's hard to just see her do nothing!  Please help!!!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It is very natural for  parents to be invested in their children's learning, and to offer encouragement and support along the way. More than anything else, it's important for parents to value education and learning and to show this by their example. For example, showing an interest in reading, in books, from the child's earliest days, will serve children well in the long run. However, if we push learning and apply too much pressure, the process can become burdensome for children, instead of invigorating. It is a natural process for human beings to learn; we strive to learn; it is an inborn momentum. You don't want to stifle it by applying too much pressure. Take a look at Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish's book titled How To Talk So Children Will Learn. It offers a very useful framework for establishing a productive climate in relation to the process of learning, and offers a practical method of communicating with our children.

[jt866]

Thanks so much for your advice.  I have so much to learn being a mother.