Please help!

[sugamommas]

For the past 8 years I continue to hit roadblocks to get a correct diagnosis for my son and I continue to get referred back to psychiatry because of the severity of his issues and he has been seen by a psychiatrist already. He is 11 y/o now.
-Poor social skills
-Defined interests and no other variety
-Gifted math ability, tested at the middle of 10th grade level
-Average to above average in all other areas of school
-Responds better to a small classroom setting with consisitent routine, with use of visual schedule
-Sucks thumb
-Plays in people's hair
-Is considered by peers his own age
-Poor hygiene, has urinated on closet floor instead of using bathroom, has pooped in his underwears and has no response to that
-Very rigid, it is black or white
-Emotional responses are 10x the response you would expect
-Temper tantrums
There is more but we need help and I don't know where to turn. I am at a loss and I have been told by two professionals that work with people that have Asperger's that I need to have him tested. I do not know where to turn.
Places I have already been
-Pediatrician
-Psychiatrist
-Behavioral Doctor
Just to get referred back to the child psych clinic and the reasoning is because he is too difficult to diagnose. The child psych clinic only wants to medicate him and classify him as ADD even though I have brought these concerns to them.
The school has noted his issues but he seems to do be doing better in the controlled setting that he is in and I am worried because next year he will be in middle school and will have a different routine and teachers.
Please give me some advice where I can take my son to get him help and where they won't tell me he is to severe and go back to the mental health route.

[Rachel Thompson, Ph.D., BCBA]

I appreciate your frustration with your son’s diagnosis. You have certainly worked hard to identify professionals who can give you some answers. If you have not done so already, be certain to have your son evaluated by a professional with experience in diagnosing Asperger’s Disorder and other Pervasive Developmental Disorders. In the meantime, it will be important to work with your son’s school to give him the support that he needs to be successful. Although a diagnosis is necessary for securing some services, there are some fairly simple environmental changes that can help children to succeed in school. You have already identified a consistent routine and picture schedule as effective approaches. There may be some additional strategies that you could develop in conjunction with the school to improve his social behavior and broaden his interests. I would certainly recommend that you try this approach before agreeing to any medication. If you do decide to try medication with your son, be sure to help the psychiatrist to evaluate the effects of the medication by tracking concerning behavior before and during the medication.

[sugamommas]

We live in Iowa do you have any suggestions of who to see. I had an appt. with the U of I Center for Disabilities but his child Psych doctor found out and had them refer me back to child psych at the U of I. I had a local appt. where I live and the intake social worker asked where I have been seen and I told her and then I was refused services and recommended to go back to the child psych. This is where my frustration is at right now.
He has been medicated and was so for a very long time but I was not happy that I kept getting the ADD diagnosis and that was all and that he is a typical preteen.
So if there is any doctors that you can give me their names that are in the state of Iowa I am all open. Thank you for your response!