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Obsession about people from my past
by stephanie726, Jan 08, 2008 06:43PM
I am currently being treated for GAD and some obsessive compulsive disorders. Right now I am having an obsession and racing thoughts going through my head all the time about getting in touch with an ex boyfriend that I haven't seen in 20 years. It consumes my head and I am not sure what to do about it. My thoughts seem so embaressing to speak to with friends or my husband. I am currently on Lexapro for depression and see a counselor twice a month- although she is out of town right now. Can you help me? I am not sure what to do with my thoughts and if they are healthy. I am the mom of two young kids.
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Do you know why you want to reach your ex? Any reasons?
Your thoughts are normal, although you need to figure out why you want to reach your ex boyfriend.
I know that I should talk to my husband about this. I have but I just told him that ever since I turned 40 I have wanted to see somebody each year that I have known from my past. Last year it was a friend from high school. I obsessed about meeting with him for a long time also.
I did talk to a friend about this and she can relate to my feelings although she did not give me any feedback.
I want to see my exboyfriend again but I want to say, look at me, I turned out great, I have a gorgeous husband and two good looking kids. And I think it would be fun to see him and his wife and kids again after 20 years. But I think he would find it wierd if I e-mailed him or called. (I don't have his e-mail address but I can get it through a friend- but is that too much to ask)
Do you have a similar problem?
I can relate to you this as well.. I have run into a couple people from my past..and I love it!!! Im on facebook, and there are so many old friends on there that I run into.. it's a great place!!!
You should know him well enough, and I dont think there is anything wrong with emailing him.. your problem just seems like you want to re connect with people from your past.. it's normal.. it's amost like an excitment and this is why you might want to see them, it's like a rush....
Ive had it where I always wanted to find this friend of mine from the past but I cant remember his name and I havent seen him in ages, but I think I do it for the thrill.. it's soo exciting..
To be honest honey, I wouldn't over analyze this problem.. it seems normal.. unless you think about it so much..and your thoughts become obsessive..then we'll have a whole other conversation..
Hope this helps darlin'.
Take care
I can relate to you this as well.. I have run into a couple people from my past..and I love it!!! Im on facebook, and there are so many old friends on there that I run into.. it's a great place!!!
You should know him well enough, and I dont think there is anything wrong with emailing him.. your problem just seems like you want to re connect with people from your past.. it's normal.. it's amost like an excitment and this is why you might want to see them, it's like a rush....
Ive had it where I always wanted to find this friend of mine from the past but I cant remember his name and I havent seen him in ages, but I think I do it for the thrill.. it's soo exciting..
To be honest honey, I wouldn't over analyze this problem.. it seems normal.. unless you think about it so much..and your thoughts become obsessive..then we'll have a whole other conversation..
Hope this helps darlin'.
Take care
Let me know!
Thanks!
Dont think about what "might" happen, this just wont be worth it.. we'll think about that if that does happen, as for now......
I hope I helped a little bit..
Let me know what your doctor says..remember to be honest with him/her..
Thanks for listening.
I'm glad you are on the forum.
There is a reason we think about old flames, and most everyone does so. The problem -as you well understand- is when we feel compelled to connect with them again. It really doesn't matter that your husband is gorgeous and your kids are nice. If there is something that needs fixed in the marriage, it needs fixed even if you are both as ugly as tables and the kids belong in jail. I'm not saying there IS something that needs to be fixed there. What I AM saying is that seizing on old b'f's from the past happens for a reason.
You need to look beyond the boyfriend and try to understand what that relationship with him meant to you. Why did you get toegther,and why did you break up? What is going on in your life right now that presents similar feelings? Perhaps a therapist can help you identify these things.
In any case, the idea of establishing contact BEFORE you know more about your own motives and feelings has problems. Suppose the old b/f is having problems with his wife, suppose he takes your contact as an invitation. Suppose you accept it?! You can easily end up with a situation far worse than the stuff in your imagination. Are you compelled, in fact, to do something that will cause a disaster?
Now print this out -ALL of it, every response- and take it with you to the doctor.
Please keep us in the loop. We are really in your corner, and as you can tell, everyone here wants you to act in your own best interest.