New HPV POSITIVE

[justified_poet]

I have been in a 19 year marriage to the same man and both have been faithful.  We've been separated for 1 year now and I finally found someone 7 months ago and began a relationship with him.  I haven't been with him in 4 months now (didn't last long) and I had my annual and it came back positive.  Bad thing is, the husband and I decided to try to make things work and I have now infected him.  The summer romance guy knew what it was because his 2nd wife had it.  Come to find out there is a 3rd wife.  He claims she is HPV free.  They had only been married 1 year when he started seeing me and he said he had used protection with her until the past couple of months.  (she supposedly has a severe form of RA that requires so much meds that she is prone to infections easily).  I know I'm stupid for everything that I've done and obviously can't take it back.  But, does this mean I will NEVER be able to have oral sex with anyone ever again?  Will I have to use condomns the rest of my life?

[ibizan]

do u mean u tested postive for high risk HPV the cervical type or the genital wart type?another important question is during the time u were seperated from ur husband did he have partners?did he use condoms?did he ask his partners if any if they had a history of std's?Cervical HPV is very treatable.The doctors forum states that the body can clear this virus in a time frame of 6-18 mos.It then goes dormant and u can pick up another strain if xposed to it-there are over 30 different types.If you remain mongomous with ur husband and he with u u have no need to worry .Follow ur doctors directions.And ur husband needs to be checked to if he's been with others.

[justified_poet]

I have the HPV-LGSIL.  It's only cervical.  No warts no other STD's.  He had a partner as well and used protection because she's only 25 and still fertile as well as he is.  My partner and I were both sterile so we used no protection after the first two times.  He and his partner neither one have STD's and are both active duty military and are checked on a regular basis.  I have had dysplasia in the past when I was in the Navy 19 years ago and it was frozen twice and no occurances since until now.  

I'm just curious what my life will be like going forward.  We're divorcing and I don't know if I need to bother to find a new partner or not.  Thanks for the reply all advise is appreciated.

[ibizan]

u said in in ur first post that u and ur husband were reconciling?now ur divorcing..am i getting this correct?I think it would be wise for u to wait regarding partners until the HPV is cleared...meaning ur paps come up free of the HPV.if u cannot go without the sex very wise to ask all prospective partners their std history....and use condoms!

[justified_poet]

We were trying to work things out but it seems pretty inevitable that the divorce is going to happen.  We're heading down two different directions.  We're from two different places and I'm tired of the military life and ready to settle and stay home.  I have given up my career too many times for him and at my age I need to start thinking about my retirement.  

So, it sounds to me like if I wait until my paps come back clean again i will be okay to move forward with my life.  Thanks for sharing your opinions with me.  It's just really new to me and it really scares me to think I could have this the rest of my life and harm others with it.

[ibizan]

i was dx'd with high risk HPV last year.I've had the LEEP and post pap 12-17 showed no hpv cells.I have to have paps now every 4 mos. for the first year to be sure no re-occurrence.I think it is wise to wait but HPV can be gotten even with condoms for it is a skin to skin virus.U reduce ur chances of getting it by at least 60-90% according to the docs forum.I think it is so wise to ask prospective partners their history,if they balk and refuse to be tested or won't give u honest answers ur health isn't worth risking.i haven't had sex for well over a year now.I'm one of those strange folk who live on another planet that believes in monogomy!There is too much scum out there to sort thru to find a good one....i don't want to go thru another LEEP.Maybe someday i will feel different but for now i feel good about this decision!There are so many diseases out there and i've learned that by reading the doctors forum daily!

[justified_poet]

I have to agree with you on all accounts.  I never dreamed I would get an STD.  The guy I suspect I got it from is an incredible man, very loving, kind and gentle but married to someone else.  He knew what it was when I said something because his 2nd wife had it.  I don't know many more details because we never get to talk any more.  I know that my health is much more important than sex will ever be.  I'm taking the leep because I'm 39 and cervical cancer runs in my family.  When/if I get divorced I lose my insurance too and the insurance I pick up will consider it pre-existing so I'm taking the hysterectomy.  I'm definately learning alot thru this ordeal though.  Thanks!

[ibizan]

I was celibate for 10 years and didn't know what I now know about HPV.My x had std testing but that doesn't catch HPV.He also never used a condom in his life.Foolish me thought it was ok to not use one...i always had when with a new person which wasn't often.U will do fine with the LEEP..i did....the second week was the most annoying with cramping and what they burned descended!:)))never wore pads that long but i'm so relieved that my pap finally came up clear after a year!:))))Helen Reddy was right on when she sang yes i'm wise but its wisdom for the pain!Take very good care of urself.....ur the only one who will!:))