Suicidal 8 yr. old Asperger grandson

[Grandmother1941]

I have an 8 yr. old grandson,  with Asperger's Syndrome who has made 3 suicidal attempts while in school on the Playground.  He will become frustrated with a situation and go into a total MELTDOWN.  One time the Sheriff Dept. was called in to remove him from the school, as he was banging his head, chocking himself, and screaming that he wanted to die.  His last attempt was to hang himself from the school Monkey Bars with his shoe laces tied around his neck. He had severe rope burns.  At that point he was removed from school and taken to a children's mental hospital for 5 days.  Since he wouldn't participate in the evaluation or "talk", it was unsuccessful.   He hasn't any friends, but he wants friends.  He talks of wanting to kill himself.  His mother is in Prison and he was present when she was arrested.  His dad is a self-centered Oh wow me person, who is stuck with this kid, because his mom will be gone for years.  No drugs or Alchol involved.  He won't accept the fact the child has Asperger's and doesn't want him to have special treatment at school or on the bus where he is bullied.  The dad has no social interaction with the boy, as he is TO BUSY.  No outside activities, not even a movie.  No activities with other children, as the dad wants no one in his home.  Okay:  I fear on his 4th Suicidal attempt, he will succeed.  He plotted out his last one for  l l/2 hrs. before trying it at afternoon recess.  I would like to know if Asperger's children have suicidal tendacies?  What suggestions are out there, so there is not a 4th. attempt?  Is there a way to force recommended counseling for this child?  The dad doesn't believe in counseling, as that would take TIME OUT OF "HIS" DAY. I don't sleep at time for fear of a meltdown that will cause him to plan out his next attempt.  He trys so hard to please his DAD,  but when he knows he is in trouble in school and then will get in more trouble @ home, the meltdowns occur.  Any suggestions would be most helpful.

[Myrna Libby, Ph.D., BCBA]

This sounds like an extremely challenging situation. As a disclaimer I need to note that no responsible therapist can diagnose over the internet or give you a prescription for the best course of action.  However, I would suggest you obtain immediate therapeutic assistance and insist, if you can, that this child get help.  I wouldn’t take any risks with this case.  

[babesmissy]

i too have an 8yr old,my son jesse same story however he has never followed thru with any susacide attempts. always try's to please everyone -even his dad.alot of the other kids at school fear jesse maybe your boy feels the same way. asperger kids need asperger friends  contact me at ***@****. maybe jesse could be his friend

[Grandmother1941]

Your e-mail address was blocked out.   There are no other Asperger children in his school, in fact the staff never even heard of Asperger.  I have been providing them with BOOKS to educate them on Aspergers.  He lives in an area where there are no other families.  He has numerous problems riding the bus, as he is teased.   His last Suicide attempt was thwarted by the teacher on the playground; but now claims he will not be using his shoes laces for that purpose again.  But when a meltdown starts, one doesn't truly know how the child will react.   I think what they need are some outside activities, like Karate or (?) to be with other children and not have his head stuck in a video game or TV show, but learn to interact with other children his age.  But his Dad, doesn't want to be bothered with anything that requires him to leave the house. I sometimes wonder who needs the help more the child or the Dad.  Grandmother1941

[fidgit]

I don't know about the suicuidal tendincies but as a mother and professional educator of autistic children I find the last palce they want to be is in the playground let alone a playground where he gets bullied and teased. Perhaps the best palce for him  at school is in a computer room or the like.  Aspergers/autitis children struggle most with the friendship stuff.  and a thought to add a "2 person"  computer game with other children  is still a version of "friendship"...Some of the clinical pscho;ogists are now highly recommending that these children be given time in quieter areas at lunch time because they just don't cope as well as others and by lunch time tyhey are passed being "social" and do more harm than good to themselves and others in the playground.

[sljenkins]

My 9 year old son was diagnosed with asperger's at age 8 when he also tried to strangle himself at school with his shoelaces. He has made at least 4 suicide attempts since last summer, with his latest one happening today during a meltdown. As soon as my son begins having a meltdown he tries to hurt himself, just like your grandson has been doing. I put my son in counseling when he was 6, and really nothing helped. The counselor kept telling me that she knew that there was something wrong but she didn't know what it was. He was diagnosed after his 3rd suicide attempt. The one thing that has seemed to help with his meltdowns are his meds. The meltdowns are much less frequent and are not as intense when he has them (except for today), however if his father does not accept the diagnosis, the meds will be impossible as well. I am not sure as to what suggestions I can give you because I am too at a loss in my own situation and was here looking for answers.

[MaryannesMom]

I have a 10 year old daughter with Asperger's who talks about wanting to be dead, but never has attempted it (thankfully).  Yes, many people with Asperger's suffer from depression, too.  Can you blame him?  It sounds like you understand about Asperger's, so I'm sure you can imagine how difficult it must be for him with a Dad who does not understand him, or is even willing to try, no teachers who understand, the teasing of other kids (who really don't understand!), and the stress levels these kids are under from every day things--noise, lights, etc.  I feel for you, and your grandson, as I think you may be right--that he may succeed next time.  I would say contact Child & Protective Services, but there is no guarantee he would end up with someone who understands there, either.  Are you able to take him in?

[aspiemom]

i have a 12 year old son with aspergers.my fiance has a 21 year old son with aspergers.i really feel for you as this is not a good situation.my son is the most loving boy until he gets in a mood or has a meltdown.then its like he is possessed.he talks about suicide and does hurt himself by banging his head until he bleeds and stuff but has never attempted suicide.yet although it is a big fear for me.i think he may also be bi-polar and am waiting for an appointment with a new pediatrician to talk about this as he gets depressed and thats when he goes crazy.your grandson needs to be in a home and school where people understand his problems and can cope with him or who knows what will happen.some aspies end up becoming murderers because they get so frustrated and just react on the spur of the moment.i have looked this up as i was concerned about my sons violence and if our other family members were at risk.could you take him.maybe if you contact child services and let them know he isn't getting the help he needs.we have been lucky with the school system.they adore my son and he spends recess and lunch in the computer lab.he shows the other kids stuff cause he is so smart and he doesn't get picked on as the other kids all know about him.not so lucky with the doctors.it took years to get him diagnosed and there aren't very good resources here.if it weren't for the school i don't know how we would cope.i really feel for you and your grandson and wish you all the best of luck.

[autistic_mom07]

This is not only alarming but scary i have a 7 year old high functioning autistic child whom i fear is going that same route and they have so many obstacles to overcome and so many thing to work out just to fit into society NOW they have to fight to get other kids to understand them. My son father isnt there as much as he should be becasue men dont take the time to work at it hes selfish and not willing to accept his son for who he is and not what he wants him to be.
My god our job is never done as i type this i can not help but cry out for some sort of help. but from who. who is going to stand up for our kids who are trying to kill themselfs????????????

[autistic_mom07]

MY GOD THIS IS DISTURBING TO READ. I TOO AM IN A SIMILAR SITUATION I HAVE A 6 YEAR OLD SON WHO IS BEING TEASED AT SCHOOL FOR BEING DIFFRENT. WE JUST GOT OVER THE HURDLE OF CHILDREN MAKING FUN OF HIS SPEECH DELAYS AND HIS APRAXIA BUT NOW AS HE IS MOVING ON INTO THE 2ND GRADE THE KIDS ARE GETTING A LITTLE MEANER AND NASTIER. WHAT CAN WE DO? WHAT IS THERE TO DO ? I DONT WANT TO PULL HIM OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE HE NEEDS THE SOCIALIZATION HOWEVER I WOULD RATHER HAVE HIM ISOLATED THAN DEAD. PARENT STEP UP AND BE YOUR CHILDS FRIEND LETS MAKE THE DIFFRENCE. ITS TOUGH FOR THEM AT SCHOOL SO LETS MAKE IT GREAT AT HOME. ITS PRESSURE FOR THEM TO BE DIFFRENT, NOW TEASED AND TAUNTED. BE THERE FOR EVERYTHING FOR OUR BOYS PLAY WITH THEM TAKE THEM OUT TEACH THEM NORMAL KID ACTIVITIES, DO WHAT OTHER LITTLE BOYS ARE DOING HIS AGE SO ATLEAST HE CAN STAY ON TARGET.

YOUR CHILDREN ARE WORTH IT !!!!!
THEY ARE YOUR LEGACY!!!!!!!!
PRAISE HIS STRENGTH AND HIS WEAKNESSES !!!!
LET HIM BE WHO HE/SHE IS!!!

GOD BLESS ALL OF US. ITS A DAILY BATTLE BUT STICK IN THERE IF YOU FALL GET BACK UP AGAIN. THERE YOUR CHILDREN.