looking for help

[dnp26]

Hi
I have a 10 year old daughter she is very smart and she can pass almost any test you put in front of her without studying. My issue is she doesn’t seem to have any social skill and struggles with everyday task that require her to talk to people.  Example: She talks in a whisper most of the time unless fighting with her little sister. She can’t talk on the phone. She don't make eye contact when people talk to her. She won’t do anything that draws attention to her. She is struggling with hygiene she only take shower when told to. She won’t use soap she just sits in the water. She is still wetting the bed.  She won’t turn in school work even if she does it. She wants me to talk for her and doesn’t look at people when they talk to her. She still can’t order things at snack counter or stands. She is very emotional she cried the first 6 weeks of bowling.  It took her at least 3 weeks to start talking to her teacher. She just walks around at recess and won’t talk or interact with of kids unless they come up to her. She has come home crying from ever party she has ever gone to. She has trouble telling me what she wants and it usually ends with me yelling and her crying.  I don’t think these behaviors are normal for a 10 year old and I’m not sure where to start as far as getting help for her.
(someone said I may want to post here)

[Myrna Libby, Ph.D., BCBA]

It is impossible to make a diagnosis based on e-mail descriptions but since you are concerned and the behaviors you describe are concerning and not typical I would suggest you get your daughter evaluated by a developmental pediatrician or a pediatric neurologist.  Also ask for an evaluation of social skills and the like by whatever counseling or testing services your school provides.  In other words, get the experts you can contact to evaluate her and then see if you find their evaluations and suggestions helpful.

[ReincarnatedGodzilla]

Certainly sounds like Asperger's Syndrome to me. And no amount of yelling will help, it only makes her frustration worse. However, I can fully understand YOUR frustration which causes you to yell.

I have Asperger's and so does my youngest daughter and your story could have been written by me when my daughter was ten.

Mine stopped bed wetting at nearly thirteen. Everything else you are saying is just like my daughter.

Encourage her in whatever her special interest is and just remember that she will grow up one day, whether she talked and played, or just walked around at recess.

Love her for the unique person she is and try to keep her bedroom a calm relaxing place where she can de-stress from her day of having to be with other people. Good luck.

[dnp26]

I just found out yesterday that she doesn't talk at all in school.  If a teacher calls on her she won't say anything she just sits there as if no one has said anything to her.  She also has been sent to the guidance counselor office 4 times this year because they couldn't get her to stop crying. The counselor has been going into class rooms to observe her and see how she interacts with other kids. They have stopped talking to her directly and they think it is a good if she says hi to them.  No one at the school has ever called me.