3 year old circle time problems / not listening at preschool

[Sashamom]

My daughter will be three in two weeks.  She had gone to preschool two days a week for two hours since this past Sept.  She refuses to sit for circle time and is disruptive.  The teacher's aide has resorted to holding my (struggling to break free) child during circle time.  She only follows directions when she chooses to listen.  I don't know what to do.  

The teacher have asked if an early interventionist could come see my child at school.  So I sat in class out of site and observed.  My child behaved until circle time came.  The teacher's aide held her to keep her in the circle and prevent her from disrupting others.  After circle time she played well with other, but after hand washing for snack she sprung from the bathroom and pushed three kids.  Then at some point before leaving she began running around the classroom, not listening to the teachers when they told her to stop.  Finally, there was a second circle which was cut short.  My child wouldn't sit, but neither would other children at this point.  My child spotted me watching her and ran to me, I quickly told her to sit in circle because I didn't like her behavior and she sat in circle in her spot and listened until class was over!!!!  I don't know what to do.  

I don't want the interventionist to work with my daughter in class because I'm aware of tracking and labels put on children.  I made an appointment with a clinical social worker to help us with her behavior.  My husband and I are trying to improve discipline at home, but part of me just says she's 3.  Three year old do this as they are learning to deal with the world.  But if her behavior is so different from most kids in class, is there a problem.

I can homeschool if necessary,  but I want her to be part of a school environment.  Would love any advice.    

[Cleveland Mom]

It may be that your dtr. is having difficulites with transitions, transitions from one activity to another.  This is not at all uncommon with young children.  Please, keep in mind your dtr. is very young and has alot of growing and developing to do.

All children need to experience consequences for behavior.  Negative consequences for negative and inappropriate behavior and positive consequences and rewards for socially appropriate behavior.  Time outs are a good choice when a child displays negative, inappropriate behavior.   Verbal praise, compliments and hugs are among the best rewards for postive pro-social behavior.  You have acted wisely by chosing to meet with a clinical social worker to gain perspective and guidance.

If you dtr. is developing in a normal fashion otherwise.  Please do not be overly concerned.  The behavior you have described is not uncommon for a three year old.  A simple common sense behavior plan will eliminate the issues that you have identified as problems.  
Best wishes...  I am a clinical social worker as well.

[SeriousSam]

3 years old?  Do you work?

Daycares are horrible for the early development of children.  If you can just find a one on one responsible babysitter or older healthy relative that would be a better environment for the child until kindergarten starts.

[SL345]

It sounds like something about circle time makes your daughter feel uncomfortable. What do you think about the daycare program? If you want her to stay, maybe you should ask for an early interventionist to observe your child for a period of several days (prior to making any decision about whether or not to have someone there regularly). Labeling is less likely to be a problem in preschool ages. That may be more of an issues in elementary school. Although not every child is a good match for daycare, socialization in a congregate care setting can't be matched in homeschooling.

[Sashamom]

Thank you for your replies.  I  have since taken my daughter to see the clinical social worker and we are working on some strategies to help my daughter cooperate and transition well.  We do have to rule out ADHD or ADD.  The social worker feels she probably doesn't have these.  I do have some concerns about the preschool she attends, because of their rush to state my daughter has a problem.  Instead of implementing different stategies to help change her behavior.  I really question her teachers training.  We will stay with this preschool a few more months until I can get her into another program.  

I observed breifly her next day at school and she transitioned well to circle time and sat on her own for a little while, then rolled on the floor, played with toys, but wasn't disrupted and stayed pretty much in the circle.  So cudos for her.   I'll keep working with her at home and hopefully transitions and sitting in circle won't be such a nightmare.

[SeriousSam]

ADHD is very rare in girls. Be very careful before allowing her to be put on medication.

[Louise129]

I think the process of making children as young as 2 or 3 have enforced mat or circle time is in fact detrimental to their development and wellbeing. Children that age often can't sit still, it is nothing to worry about yet! I have seen mat time last for up to 45 minutes in some preschools and this is not in line with any current brain research. Talk to your daughter about sitting still, practise this at home, but also know that she may need to move to learn (as many kids do). Definately reconsdier the preschool. I think 3 is far too young for 2 days a week. Best of luck!