15 yrs old,OCD && ALONE

[brie011]

Last night was the first time i actually began to think about the things i do, only because my parents made me. i was sitting at the dinner table and i have these weird things i have to do or i will cry and scream and pretty much lose all control. my plate can only contain 3 things on it and if i get seconds they have to go right back in the same place the others were such as if i have mashed potatoes then my second serving has to be the same size or smaller and go in the same place as the others. well anyway none of my food can touch each other not even the salt or pepper. i know i am a freak right? anyway my family thought i was doing this for attention so they but a brusselsprout on my plate and poured salt on my plate. needless to say i freaked and a started bawling. i didn't even have brusselsprouts on my plate that whole night so it messed everything up. and it couldnt be reversed, so my parents started talking to me about my "obsessions and compulsions" blah blah blah and after about 2 or 3 hours of persuasion i agreed to go to a doctor or professional for help. but i am terrified because i know the doctor will try to make me stop these things i do but if i stop them then i will freakout i have tried, i dont know what i am writing here for i guess i would like to know i am not alone or crazy person.
somebody please convince me i am going to be okay.

sincerely,
Brie011