Work Avoidance/Refusal to do school work

[ShooShee]

I have a 6 year old who started having severe behavior problems at school. He is in 1st grade. He started doing things I would have never thought he'd be capable of. Most of his problems seem to stem from work avoidance and refusal to comply. When asked to begin working he will refuse, deflect and avoid by crawling undrer his desk, running around the room and such. He was diagnosed with ADHD in November and currently takes medication. Things got better but not completely. He started destroying his classroom and kicking, screaming, hitting the administration that comes to help get him out of the classroom. He now takes a mood stablizer and we've been going up on dosages a little at a time. Still, even today he tried to avoid writing and then his teacher starts a Behavior Intervention Plan which ends up with time outs, and an office referral. The assistant principal comes to the room to help and sometimes he is willing to go with her and some times not. He tries to throw things and she tries to stop him. Today he hit at her, kicked her and screamed at the top of his lungs "help me" "get off me". Did I mention that I'm a teacher at this school and my classroom is right across the hall??? His teacher is wonderful, the administration is wonderful and care for him but are fustrated with him, as well. For the most part, at home he's a happy kid. He is loving, playful, sweet and caring. He says he likes school and is sorry for his behavior. He is an average reading student and is great at math. Writing is difficult for him. He can do it... his work is readable. I am absoultely overwhelmed with the situation and don't know where to turn. I trust our doctor and I know there is no easy way to diagnose a mood disorder and I also know it takes time with medication.

[jdtm]

My friend's grandson was diagnosed with ODD - Oppositional Defiant Disorder when he was in Grade 2.  His behaviour was similar to that which you described.  He was removed from the school and taxied to an alternate school for one year.  One year later he returned to the original school where things were a bit better.  However, at that time he was diagnosed with severe social phobia and not ODD.  My point - are you sure the ADHD is the correct diagnosis?  The medication is not working that well.  As a retired teacher, I know that most work non-compliances are the result of the child "not being able" to do the work rather than "not wanting" to do the work.  I am wondering if you just haven't found the correct issue or problem (or perhaps two or more problems).  And you are correct - it does take time for the medication to work - in anxiety issues (which I have a lot of knowledge) it can several years before the "full" effect is seen.  I feel for you as I have "been there".

[Mia321]

My son, a 4th grader, who was diagnosed just prior to 1st grade with "specific learning disability" is now struggling in 4th grade.  The greatest problem it seems is also his "refusal" to do work - even when the work is something the teachers feel certain he is capable of.  Other than refusing to do work, he is well behaved and doing well socially. He also hates to write with a passion.  The school is going to re-evaluate him for clues to his behavior and are awaiting his first visit to a neurologist in April and hope to find out more after that exam.  

So, I unfortunately, have no answers for you, but I have a lot of understanding and empathy.  There are lots of us out here experiencing similar problems, you are not alone, nor is your son.  My husband is also a teacher, teacher's kids are just as vulnerable to problems as anyone elses.  

[SL345]

If your child has a problem with the motor component of writing, I know kids who've done better with using keyboards, learning to type and other classroom modifications, such as submitting oral reports on a tape recorder. Just in case that's a component of the issue, I thought I'd mention it.

[Jennifer375]

Im having issues with our nine year old daughter that while not to the extreem of physically struggling with her,,, its been a struggle none the less because she always 'forgets' to bring things to school, looses things, or just doesnt complete them. I frankly think school work is just too 'one size fits all' and these kids are falling behind in part because their brains just dont work the way the schools and teaching is set up. Im seriousely thinking about home schooling our daughter,, but my husband is terrified she wont have enough social interaction though,, so I guess only time will tell if this improves or not. My sympathy and understanding to everyone sharing in this thread...

Jennifer

[becka3]

If you are worried about socialization while home-schooling.  There are some other options.  In our town we have a charter school.  Where kids go for classes 3 days a week from 9:00 - 1:00, and then we do our own work on monday and friday.  There are book clubs and other classes like art and dance etc. through your community recreation department that you can do in and around the community.  Find a home-school group in your town and find out what they have to offer.  they often are wanting to make sure there children are having opportunities to socialize as well.My son has a great community of friends through our charter school.

[becka3]

Recently, I had to take my son out of the charter school I had him in.  He loved it there, but was refusing to do his school work at home.  He fell behind about 3 months in 1st grade work.  I was worried about this pattern, and put him in a small public school.  I thought he was refusing to do work and follow the rules because I wasn't structured enough, wasn't presenting the right work, or maybe just because I am his mom.  Well, after a week of public school he has increased in his reading and writing skills, but is not finishing work at school, and when I give him homework he refuses to do it. I know he can do the work he just doesn't want to. Today we tried for two hours to get home work done and he only read 4 sentences.  This included fighting, scratching at me, hitting, and running away to hide under the table.  I have taken away all privileges until he tries to do the work, or will talk with me about what he is feeling and the problems he is having. This is so hard.  What do you do next.  Is this just a transition problem or what?  His teacher has said that she will give him another couple weeks to adjust to the schedule and then if he doesn't complete work she will take away computer time, recess etc...
My son had been getting along fine with other people.  He is very likable, but since starting at public school he has come home every day with complaints about how he hates it and the kids make fun of him, and that the kids our rude to each other.  It is really bothering him.  When the out breaks of anger our over and he finally talks He says he feels alone and betrayed.  Like we sent him somewhere where he hates it and we won't let him go back to the charter.  We have tried to explain why we had to change and if he gets caught up on his work and shows effort he can go to  the charter again. It helps for a little while and then he act out again. Is this just a battle of wills?

[logmadmom]

My 6 year old son is having so much trouble getting any kind of work done. He doesn't want to write or color. It takes us hours to do a few little kindergarten papers. I am so tired of sitting at the kitchen table for hours (I have an 11 month old also and my husband works nights). I have tried taking  the computer, tv, playing with friends, and all other "fun things" but nothing works. I know he can do it he just doesn't want to. He makes crazy noises and faces at me, walks around the room, plays with his paper and pencil. It drives me crazy. I have considered asking my mother in law to come help him do his homework because I am losing my patience. I just don't understand why he wants to waste so much time and lose all the "fun stuff"!!

[mom_of_two_]

Heres a thought, try to not pay attention to the negitive behaviour, and praise there good behavior, use positive reinforcement, I have a son who has alot of the same characteristics as your children, i know all to well the frustration, helplessness, and the emotional ups and downs that come with trying to deal with your child that seems sometimes to be very difficult to manage. i have spent the last 3 years of school in and out of the office in meetings with teachers, trying to come up with a plan to help my son, as you all have said my child also refused to do his work, we have tryed many different things to try to get him to do his work, our new one is when he refuses to do his work in school during school hours he then has to stay after school till his work is done, i dont come to pick him up till he phones himself after completing his work, and it is working, my son of course the first time this happened was very upset and didn't want to do the work but the teacher just told him again that mom will come and pick you up when you finish your work. but not until the work is done, well he went back into the class room and got all his work finished which actually didn't take him very long to do, he phoned me proud and happy that he got his work done, said ok i am very happy that you have finished your work i will come and pick you up now. This has only happened like 2 in the last 2 weeks, so this is big progress for him as most days now he does his work and they give little reminders to him that he needs to finish his work in class so he will not have to stay after school to do it.. this is a big improvement, and this may or may not work for your children, believe me we have tryed everything i think the worst thing was when we where taking his privilages and fun stuff away , just seems  to make children more angry, and more negitive behaviour results from it, we have also tryed at home to get his work done sometimes if he is refusing we give him a few minutes to calm himself, then say ok how can we still have some fun and get the work done .. we do a work/ play work /play idea we ask the child how many minutes of play he would like to do, he sets his own minutes but we always make sure that he knows that he has to do that many minutes in work as well, so he usually picks 10 minutes of play so he has to do 10 minutes of work, now during the 10 minutes of work if the child is getting restless or is not wanting to do it after a few minutes, take a break, and try again, at first things seem to maybe not work the first few times you try it, but if you keep at it, your child will start to respond to it, i have done so many different things over the years to try to get my son's behaviour in order, sometimes, these children have medical conditions, like ADD/ADHD, ODD(oppositional defient disorder), sensory intergration disorders or also called sensory perception disorders, some may have a learning disability, some may just be very strong willed, some may have anxiety disorders, bipolor, so many different things , but the one thing you know is this isn't normal behaviour of children the same age as your child. My suggestion is try to get referred to a behavioral management team, usually consisting of occupational theripists, pediatric dr, speech and language, phscology assessments, these people are professionals who deal with children who have behavioural difficulties at home as well as at school.. Hope this helps, as it has helped my son and he has now more positive days at school , he only has the odd day once in every few weeks where he may try to push the limits again, but i don't let that bother me, he had a bad day, tomorrow is another day, and he can make different choices at school to turn it into a positive... believe me positive attitudes at school and home will help your child succeed..