Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Depression Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to depression, counseling, sleep problems, and nutrition.
Do I have a form of OCD?
by xfault, Jan 19, 2008 04:08AM
Hello,
I am a 21 year old male. I have always been one to dwell on past events and wonder what things would be like if I could go back and do things differently, but a recent experience has made it an obsession. In October my girlfriend broke up with me, we were only dating for 2 months long distance. I seemed not to care and did things which lead her to believe that I was not interested in continuing the relationship.
After she broke up with me, I became obsessed with the idea of going back in time to correct my mistakes. I cannot go 5 minutes without the idea popping into my head. It affects every aspect of my life. Any time I am doing any sort of activity or am socializing, I imagine what it would be like at that moment if I had changed things. Often times I reject offers to social gatherings and spending time with friends to dwell and fantasize about being given a second chance.
Because of this, I am very depressed, and feel anything I do or plan to do in the future does not matter, or that it shouldn't matter, because that isn't "how it's supposed to be". I feel very helpless that I am not able to change the past, and often give myself false hope by browsing the internet for crazy time travel stories, magic, astral projection, etc. I then daydream and fantasize about using some sort of specific method to achieve my goal. I have never been a religious person, but at this point I force myself to believe in any system that would allow me to re-do my past.
An example of how it pops into my head constantly is the other day I was filling out a form that required my address. While filling my address out, I thought to myself how the address would be different if I had done things differently (We planned to move in together early in the relationship). If I am sitting with a friend or engaged in any sort of social activity, I often disassociate myself from what is happening to ponder what it would be like if she was there with me right now, or what I would be doing at the time.
This has driven me to the point of almost insanity, as the helpless and hopeless feeling I have along with hatred for myself for what I have done constantly gives me suicidal thoughts.'
I don't believe I was ever odd in any sort of way growing up, I don't think anyone really notices how affected I am by this, which leads me to believe that I don't have any sort of disorder but just have trouble with this one problem. But, I have read that even without performing rituals or trying to be organized one can be classified as having OCD. I am just looking for some opinions on this.
I am a 21 year old male. I have always been one to dwell on past events and wonder what things would be like if I could go back and do things differently, but a recent experience has made it an obsession. In October my girlfriend broke up with me, we were only dating for 2 months long distance. I seemed not to care and did things which lead her to believe that I was not interested in continuing the relationship.
After she broke up with me, I became obsessed with the idea of going back in time to correct my mistakes. I cannot go 5 minutes without the idea popping into my head. It affects every aspect of my life. Any time I am doing any sort of activity or am socializing, I imagine what it would be like at that moment if I had changed things. Often times I reject offers to social gatherings and spending time with friends to dwell and fantasize about being given a second chance.
Because of this, I am very depressed, and feel anything I do or plan to do in the future does not matter, or that it shouldn't matter, because that isn't "how it's supposed to be". I feel very helpless that I am not able to change the past, and often give myself false hope by browsing the internet for crazy time travel stories, magic, astral projection, etc. I then daydream and fantasize about using some sort of specific method to achieve my goal. I have never been a religious person, but at this point I force myself to believe in any system that would allow me to re-do my past.
An example of how it pops into my head constantly is the other day I was filling out a form that required my address. While filling my address out, I thought to myself how the address would be different if I had done things differently (We planned to move in together early in the relationship). If I am sitting with a friend or engaged in any sort of social activity, I often disassociate myself from what is happening to ponder what it would be like if she was there with me right now, or what I would be doing at the time.
This has driven me to the point of almost insanity, as the helpless and hopeless feeling I have along with hatred for myself for what I have done constantly gives me suicidal thoughts.'
I don't believe I was ever odd in any sort of way growing up, I don't think anyone really notices how affected I am by this, which leads me to believe that I don't have any sort of disorder but just have trouble with this one problem. But, I have read that even without performing rituals or trying to be organized one can be classified as having OCD. I am just looking for some opinions on this.
Member Comments (1)
by jo929, Jan 19, 2008 09:35AM
To: xfault
you sound like a very smart youn man that has it together but you want to dwell in the past are you sure that you thought this much of the girl or are you a little upset that she broke it off i think that you know why you want to go to past but you know that you cant , the way you come across i dont think that this is the major issue with. her .as far as having ocd i would not dwell on that if you cant go forward then go to the dr but maybe you can try to focus on the future i do hope so dont look back look to what is ahead there is a whole world out there if you want it, and it isnt as if you were in a middle age crisis have fun jo
Post Comment
