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Autism & Asperger's Syndrome (Expert Forum)
Why does this four year old behave as he does?
Questions in the Autism & Asperger's Syndrome forum are answered by researchers at the New England Center for Children. Topics covered include Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Antisocial Personality Disorder, Asperger Syndrome, Autism, blindness, bullying, clinical depression, deafness, dyslexia, mental retardation, and social alienation.
Why does this four year old behave as he does?
by daycaremommy, Jan 19, 2008 12:20PM
I have started taking care of this four and a half year old little boy as he was miserable in his preschool and acting out both there and at home. He hits and kicks his parents regularly. He has separation anxiety and has a difficult time entering any new situation. Parents give in when he is persistent to add some background.
My main concern is his inability to function independently. He often needs my attention, and I have clocked this, on a bad day, LITERALLY every 30 seconds to a minute, for all ten hours I have him. On a good day, it can be every five or so minutes. There are other children in the house that play appropriately with him, and a selection of toys and activities that rival any daycare. This does not distract him from needing to talk to me, complain to me, update me, or need something from me, at the intervals I explained.
Also, regardless of what activity is happening, he has difficulty engaging himself for more than a few minutes in any activity. He is 'bored', 'hungry', 'tired', or whatever else, and needs to move on. He can never be alone in a room, screaming if he is, and needs to have at least one other person play exactly what he is playing or else he will not play. If there is a child next to him doing something different, he cannot do what he is doing but has to do whatever that child is doing. He rarely seems happy doing anything, and is always looking to do something else. He rarely seems to be 'content'.
He has so many behaviors that I only touched on the most concerning in this writing. He has responded to some strategies and we have eliminated some behaviors, like running out of buildings. These other things, though, I have not had any luck trying any strategy I know. Is this some form of Autism? Is this just the result of extreme permissive parenting? Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks so much in advance for any insight you may offer.
Jennafer
My main concern is his inability to function independently. He often needs my attention, and I have clocked this, on a bad day, LITERALLY every 30 seconds to a minute, for all ten hours I have him. On a good day, it can be every five or so minutes. There are other children in the house that play appropriately with him, and a selection of toys and activities that rival any daycare. This does not distract him from needing to talk to me, complain to me, update me, or need something from me, at the intervals I explained.
Also, regardless of what activity is happening, he has difficulty engaging himself for more than a few minutes in any activity. He is 'bored', 'hungry', 'tired', or whatever else, and needs to move on. He can never be alone in a room, screaming if he is, and needs to have at least one other person play exactly what he is playing or else he will not play. If there is a child next to him doing something different, he cannot do what he is doing but has to do whatever that child is doing. He rarely seems happy doing anything, and is always looking to do something else. He rarely seems to be 'content'.
He has so many behaviors that I only touched on the most concerning in this writing. He has responded to some strategies and we have eliminated some behaviors, like running out of buildings. These other things, though, I have not had any luck trying any strategy I know. Is this some form of Autism? Is this just the result of extreme permissive parenting? Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks so much in advance for any insight you may offer.
Jennafer
Member Comments (1)
by MaryannesMom, Jan 24, 2008 08:11AM
To: daycaremommy
I can imagine your frustration, as I did daycare for 8 years and know how difficult this is! From what you've said, to me it doesn't sound like Autism. Is he an only child? I found when doing day care that "only children" seemed to have this personality type, as they are used to being the center of attention. Do you have a computer with computer games? This was the best thing I found to keep those types of kids interested, because they are interactive, move at their pace, & they are in control. Good luck!
