my 20 year old boyfriend suffers from a variey of things... help.

[amandamariie13]

my boyfriend and i have been dating off and on for 11 months now. he warned me from the beginning that it would be rough beings ive never dated anyone with his problems. little did i know i was in for a big surprise. i soon was aware that my boyfriend suffers from manic depression and panic attacks, and social anxiety. its so hard being a supportive girlfriend when you know so little about these problems. we constantly fight. he doesn't sleep through the night, he's constantly worried about something. when i stay with him at his house i always stay up late.. around 4am because i feel bad. and when i do fall asleep, he'd still be wide awake. it interferes with our social life. during the day i get up and want to do things but he's too exhausted and tired. hes on different meds, one i know for sure is zoloft or however you spell it. he says he feels like he's in a dream like world often. he has nightmares of graveyards and fears death. he doesn't work because of his problems. i try my hardest of understand him, and when hes in the right state of mind he see's that, otherwise he'll call me selfish because he says no one understands or wants to. he says he feel useless and worthless alot. and his physical appearance bothers him, he says he doesnt feel attractive. he plays music, and he absolutly loves it. he plays video games to keep himself busy and he sees a doctor often to explain how hes feeling and his problems. i just need help.. please. what can i do to help him... i often feel like its all about him... then again i get upset and want it about me too. does anyone have answers for me? i want to make 'us' happy. please, anyone help?

[April2]

You hit the nail on the head. It IS all about him. That's what happens when you get involved with someone with that many problems and who is that needy. You need to really ask yourself if this is a good relationship. Who's getting what out of this?Are you doing all the giving and he's doing all the taking? You will exhaust yourself real fast with that one. Are you really happy? How has your personality and attitute been since you started dating him? Is he bringing the best out of you or the worst? I know you care about him, but if he's dragging you down in the dumps with him then neither one of you is doing the other any favors.
If you have determined that you really love him and will take all this baggage on, then be prepared for the long haul. Don't become codependent. Help him to start to stand on his own. Is he seeing a counselor? Maybe he needs his meds adjusted.
Encourage him in the areas he's good at like the music. Maybe he'd like to start up a band. It's good to be there for him and support and encourage him, just don't let him drag you down.
I wish you the best.

[DHinAZ]

To care about does not mean to care for.
Encouragement like April said yes, but don't get sucked in the spiral down or you'll end up resenting him and yourself.
Arguing with him is not going to solve anything, and if the situation is affecting your life in a way that you "can't live that way", then it's time for you to move on (sad but true). To stay together due to guilt doesn't do anybody any good.
You can be there for him, but you can't make it happen for him.
As much as you would like to make the both of you happy. No, you can't, bu you can take care of yourself.

Just my opinion.