Shyness

[mollyqiu]

We have a three and half year old daughter Mia. She is a very shy girl since she was little. But she has open up a lot as she grows older. Mia has been attending school since she was very young. She is very confident when she is in her familiar surrounding and with her family and friends. However when Mia is in a new environment, she totally shuts down. We introduce gym class to Mia lately. She has couple friends go to the same class with her. We think the coach is very nice and experienced with kids. But Mia just won’t participate anything during the class. She just sits there and observes the whole class. We asked her whether she wants to leave, she would rather stay. It has been like that for the past 4 classes.

We have tried to talk about it with her but nothing seems inspire her to do more in the class. We don’t want to push her too hard since we would like her to have positive experience with these activities. On the other hand, we think making new friends through these activities will help Mia to concur her shyness in a long term.

My question here is what can we do to help her participate more in the new class?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are taking exactly the right approach. That is, you are introducing her to activities and to situations in which she will be with peers. You are keeping her 'in the mix', so to speak. This is the right thing to do. As she becomes familiar with the situation, she will interact more. Be patient and supportive; do not push or urge her. Allow her to proceed at her own pace and it will very likely be fine.