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[neety41]

I am ashamed to say i took an overdose over the weekend and nearly died, apparantly i am deeply depressed but never realised, it was quite spur of the moment.  Is this common not to realise??  I have been thru a lot in the past year, cancer, collapses 3 surgeries and boyfriend leaving me while i been ill, my friend has been diagnosed with cancer now too, it all just got too much and that's what i did, am not proud of it.

[Jennifer375]

first dont be ashamed, second, depending on what you OD'ed on Id guess it could happen to anybody if it was an opiate and you werent writing down exact times you took it. (coughs and raises hand, been there and yes was terribly embarassed) but dont take anyones word for it that your suicidal unless YOU think you are. Taking somonelses word for it is the 'old' you,,,, its time to take your power back from the cancer and everythingelse thats victimized you in this lifetime.

By the way you worded your above paragraph I hope your in remission from cancer now? What sort of cancer was it if I may ask? I am a survivor of Non-hodgkins lymphoma which is considered an immune system lymphatic cancer.

If you'd like to talk privately please feel free to PM me or if you arent sure how that feature works yet, just say so and Ill pm you first.

*Holding space for peace and calm during the storm your living through*

[Venora Moonwind]

I am so glad you came here to the forum. Most of us here have been where you are,. you are not alone  Your story sounds mcuh like mine with 2 surgeries and thyroid cancer pneumonia and sub surnal goiter removal) thats where the cancer was)Life throiw many thngs at you. I would encourage to seeka therapist to help you with the things that life has trown you. the therapy will give you the tools you need to deal with the things that happen to us for no reason. I am praying for you and your friend that is newly dx with cancer.Please keep posting on you and her progress.
Love venora

[neety41]

Thanks for your concern.  I was found to have a very rare tumour of the perineum which was initially thought to be a cyst.  The docs said it was a particular one but i disagreed and did my research and had to keep telling them i thought they were wrong and that it was an aggressive angiomyxoma (only 150 worldwide).  It took me 10 months to convince them i was right, they referred me to the Marsden cancer hospital in london where they said i was correct.  I still have a 4.5cm tumour inside and surgery would cause too much damage to surrounding areas, so i take tamoxifen to try to control the tumour, we won't know if that's really working til next MRI in April.  However, in november the last MRI showed massess on my ovaries, i then collapsed with a ruptured cyst and 3 weeks later had my ovaries removed, this i am still recovering from.  With the tumour i was in terrible pain for a whole year so by nov i was walking better but then the collapse really put the top hat on it.  My pay has been halved now too so financially skint, my friend and colleague went for laparoscopy last week to see why she isn't pregnant and has been found to have ovarian cancer, my other friend and work colleague also has liver mets and is at home having her chemo but won't live long, then my man tells me he has been seeing someone else!!  That really was the final straw!  I am a strong person who is always in control so i really surprised myself as to how easy i found it to take the pills.  That worries me cos if i found it so easy, will i do it again?? I nearly died.  I took about 40 diclofenac and about 15 codeine phosphate i think, couldn't breathe at one point, that was scary, my BP was on the floor as was my temp.  Can't believe i did it tho