its been 11 years

[leanie]

I am currently 22 years old. I started throwing up when I was 11. I have always been off and on with it. I will go 2 months of throwing up everyday, but then I may go 3 months with throwing up hardly ever. I have never considered it a major problem like what some people have. But now that i think back and 11 years have past and I still haven't stopped, my thoughts have changed to perhaps i do have a more serious problem and it isn't under control. I am curious if I have done any real damage to my body. Again I never did it religiously ever day, some days or months could just be better or worse. I feel healthy, but could something still be wrong? After so long is it impossible that I haven't caused any damage?

Any response will be appreciated.

[rach203]

hi im also 22 and was anorexic and bullimic and know all the troubles that come with it.first of all i think you should get some help as you definitley have a eating disorder. you will have to speak to your doctor to see if you have done any damage to yourself. they might want to do some tests. have you ever been sick with blood? because that can show yo are harming your body.your teeth wil also suffer as often when you are sick acid from your stomach comes up and this wil rot ur teeth.to help this from happening dont brush ur teeth for at least an hour after ur sick.just swill ur mouth out with water. i hope you manage to get some help and regain control over ur life.all the best

[Bostonian08]

Hi Leanie,
Your pattern of bulimia sounds very similar to how mine was. I started throwing up around age 12, and continued straight through college, on and off. It started with just big holiday meals at Christmas or Thanksgiving, and then turned into something more regular. I was always healthy, played some sports in high school and felt like I was in control of the bulimia - it was just now and then or on a few months off a few months. Anyway, at one point around your age, I had my very last episode of throwing up. I was leaning over the toilet and had just thrown up and all of a sudden had a rush of fear that my heart might stop. I don't know why or where it came from - perhaps from reading up a bit more on the dangers. Most people who die from bulimia die because their heart stops after throwing up. This is because you lose a large amount of electrolytes all at once, which is what controls your heart's ability to contract. Thankfully, that was enough to scare me out of it, and I've never done it again. That was about 5 years ago. I've now taken up healthier ways of controlling my weight (such as going to the gym in moderation.)

Now...the long-term damage. At age 22 I thought my body was fine. Its only now at age 29 that I'm starting to see some things that are REALLY make me regret my 10+ years of binging/purging. For example, my teeth have recently started to crack and chip a bit. They looked fine - they aren't dissolved or rotten in any way. I was always very careful about rinsing my mouth and brushing my teeth after episodes, but now I've had to get two corners filled that just broke off while I wasn't doing anything. Also when I look closely I can see little hairline cracks all over my teeth. SO frustrating thinking that these teeth need to last me another 50 years, and I spent so much time damaging them.

NOW the real scary part - about 1 year ago, I started having heart problems. I started experiencing palpitations in my chest and have gone through a series of tests to find that my heartbeat is now very irregular. It never was before - it's always been perfect. I don't have any family history of heart irregularity, etc. But now, all of a sudden I have a heart irregularity that seems to have no cause. I know that bulimia can lead to heart irregularities, but I never thought it could happen 5 years down the road (I'm not 100% sure that this is the cause) but who who knows - it's possible that I damaged my heart during those 10+ years. And I can't imagine what it would have been like if I'd continued another 2 or 5 or 10 years. You need to stop now. You most definitely ARE damaging you body, even if you can't see it yet. If you can't stop on your own, get help - but it sounds like you don't have any mental distortion of your body image, just that you were casually using this method to cut calories, which is what I was doing. Don't do it again - anyone who is making themselves throw up could die at any point, even healthy people. It's extremely dangerous.

I hope that helps. Good luck and may God bless you in your efforts to get healthy.
-Jennifer