How do I deal with DD's tantrums?

[Me2mommy2b]

DD's gotten really bad with her tantrums.  If the smallest thing doesn't go her way, the claws come out and the wailing starts.  How do I nip it at the bud?  I ignore it most of the time b/c if I try to calm her down, it only makes her wail even louder.  I do redirect her attention to other things but she's a VERY stubborn girl and it doesn't work most of the time (b/c if she wants something, she'll get it by any means possible).  Please help!!  Isn't she a little too early for the terrible 2s? She's 16 months.  I'm not ready for it and quite frankly, have no energy for it (sigh).

[wannabenana]

Totally ignore her. Walk away, leave the room and don't say a word.

[JoyRenee]

Actually this behavior starts before they turn 2. She's totally normal. Even the most well-behaved children go through this.

One way to prevent tantrums is to EXPECT what is going to happen to cause a meltdown. Make sure she's fed, clean (no dirty diaper!), well-rested, and has a drink handy. If all is well on that end, you can also prevent tantrums by offering your little one choices.

For example, let her choose her own outfit in the morning from 2 choices you pick out. Let her pick her shoes. Let her pick which spoon she eats with at lunch, etc., etc. EVERY opportunity where she can have a choice, give it to her. This will not make her a brat. It helps her feel "more in control" of her big world.

If that fails, do as wannabenana said. Just ignore her until she stops. As her vocab gets bigger, you can tell her, "When you can speak to me nicely, then I'll listen to you." This is what I do with my 2 year old and it works like a LIGHTSWITCH! Tantrum to talking... amazing!

[newbie2b]

If it makes you feel any better, my 8 month old is going through the terrible 2's already  :)  Any boy is it exhausting!

[deanne11]

Yeah - I remember those days...My DD started around that time too.  It stop about 3 mos after her 2nd bday....seemed her terrible two's was the 6mos before and after she hit 2.

I just ignored the behavior when I could.  I did give a couple spankings when she was about 2 and a half.  I hated it and probably wouldn't do it again, even though I believe in spankings.  It's just not for me.

I think the biggest thing is with your DD's age is attention....so just walk away.  Or pick her up and put her somewhere safe and walk away.  Crib, etc...

[cantwait4baby]

This is interesting - my dd already is starting - I cannot take a toy from her or she flips out.  I need to learn how to treat that because as it looks right now she will be going through the two's next week.

[tahariel]

I agree with the others' advice. Stay calm and unemotional. Simply state that you will listen to her when she will talk nicely, and that her temper tantrum is unacceptable. Amazing how they completely understand, even at such a young age.

Mine will be 2 in May and knows that if she puts a Mr. Potato piece in her mouth, they will be packed up and put away until the next day. She tried a temper tantrum the first time but I just simply stated that she had been warned and that the pieces do not go in her mouth, and she can try to play nicely with them the next day. She knows. She sometimes will put a piece in her mouth on purpose to test if the same rules still apply, and finds out quickly that they do.

Calm and consistent is the key!