On the rocks

[ti_vap]

We known each other for 6 years and married for 3. Since the time we got married things have not been great...even though i feel that both of us the best intentions. Its reached a stage where I'm tired of trying and I don't feel she's making an equal effort.

Every day is an uphill climb and even the smallest of things can spark of a row. I sometimes lose control and become abusive....but the verbal barrage from her end doesn't stop.

There is no excuse but it boils down to verbal and mental abuse vs physical abuse.

Any suggestions...cause life like this sucks and was never the intention.

[SquirreliciousAngel]

Try counseling both couple and individual and if things don't stop with the physical abuse I would say that you need to end the relationship. Like you said there is never an excuse for physical OR verbal abuse in a relationship.



Best of luck to you both.
~S.A.

[slow_healer]

It sounds like there's a lot of anger or resentment issues swirling around in your relationship - the trigger-happy verbal abuse suggests that to me. It's hard to say what exactly is the problem based on your post. And it sounds like you're not too sure either of where the aggression is coming from. If you and your partner don't have close friends you can talk to, then really consider counselling (individual or couple). Since you don't know what the problem is, then your first step should be to identify it.

If I were to guess, I'd say you've done something that really offended your partner, but for some reason she doesn't feel like she can tell you about it. So it may be that she's getting back at you with these little ongoing arguements - venting frustration. Take a moment and really consider if this is a possibility. This is where individual counselling may really help too - it might help your wife to sort out where her anger is coming from. Good luck.

[teko]

The kind of anger you speak of comes from two people who do not respect one another. If you are going to fight then lay down some ground rules where one of you leaves until things calm down. After calming down talk about what set you off and do not just let it go. You have forgotten how to communicate to each other and someone is trying to control the other. I agree that you need counseling and see if someone can help you to communicate effectively so it will not go that far.