Aa
4th day and feeling much better!!!
I stayed home one more day to get some energy back. I want to thank everyone for all of the info given to me before and during my 1st day. I was soooooo scared to stop. I was scared to not have that 'feeling' ever again. I loved the feeling of when my oxy kicked in. I cried sooo much before I stopped. So many 'what ifs'. It was not as bad as I anticipated. I hope I canencourage anyone in that aspect. I know everybody is different. I cry at night because of these darn RLS!! HATE IT! But I can't believe how clear my mind already is! I have been telling my husband and he is leaning more toward weaning down. In my case, I weaned down from 200 mg (chewing them, weird how you actually like the taste), down to about 20-30 mg in about a month. I changed every 4 days . I am drinking that Amino Fuel (TwinLab), L-Tyrosine, B6, Multi Vit, protein drinks with banana in them and b6. I don't know if any of that contributes but I know I am home clear. For some of you out there considering stopping, if you have someone to be there with you that helps but to have a life with clarity is soooo worth it. I hated that I let a stupid blue pill control my life for over a year!!!! I always thought I was super woman when I took it until that didn't work anymore. The Bed and the TV were my best friend. I never slept in, boy sleeping til 10-11, no prob. I love waking up at 6 clear minded not looking for my pill. I know I am only 4 days clean but I feel GREAT!! Everyday has been better. To any of you that is scared, please don't be, I was the ultimate 'scaredy cat'. Thanks again to all your pm's and encouraging words!!!!
thx for caring about me. i guess i'm down cause i feel like i'm in this by myself. i'd tell hubby now, but he's dealing with family matters concerning his seriously ill mother, we may lose her, and i don't want to add to the stress. i couldn't lay still, so i'll wait a little while and see if i can get some sleep later
Go get a heating pad. I have those rice packs and they only last 15 minutes. I wish I lived near you I'd bring you one!! Sciatica is awful. Have you tried a GOOD chiropractor? Not one that wants you back every 2-3 x's a week. Mine would treat me a few times and I was good. You should stop today then byt Sunday you will be fine. Is the temptation there to take the ones you have left? Do it for your hubby and then talk to him about wanting to grow old and you want to help him with his addiction with food. Great way to go at it. Rest well and enjoy your nap. you are so low don't let that devil drug run your mind. I will keep an eye on you and pm me if you need anything. I just put a skirt on and a cute shirt painted my toe nails and I feel GOOD!!! Haven't had a desire in a long time to look good for hubby, he may fall down LOL!!! Can you do any stretching or physical therapy? That is my hubby's complaint, back pain. Try ICY HOT, work wonders. Even the ones you just put on your back. Costco has them in bulk. Take care!!!
didn't get much sleep last night and the sciatica is really kicking in. going to take a couple of plain old tylenol, get my heated rice pack and lay down for a little bit. be back in a while,
Lucy
Lucy
i'm a homemaker, so am at home all the time. i have to pick him up at the airport Sunday, so i have a few days. have to be somewhat normal Sat for my sister's wedding, so maybe i should just totally quit today and get it over with. the wd's aren't that bad this time around, i'm just afraid of facing the back pain for the rest of my life. that's why i am down.
I remember being that low and thinking "what am I waiting for". Do you have a 3 day weekend this coming weekend? Good time, that is why I picked this last weekend. You are very low. It won't be that bad. Get the thomas recipe stuff. I think it helps!!! I know you can do it. If I can and I was sooooo scared, you can. How long were you clean? 1/4 of a norco is like 2.5 mg of an opiate! That is nothing. You are prolonging it, you really are. I bet you are already having WD's . When does hubby come home?
i am down to 1/4 a pil every 6 hours. should just stop altogether and get it overwith, i guess. why drag it out? anyway my hubby is away, and i am home alone with the cats and the tv. and the puter. he doesn't even know i was back on it. it would dissappoint him so much. will be over this before he gets back and i will tell him then. don't believe in lying to him, just couldn't face him after all he went through with me the last time. he's a good guy and doesn't deserve it. he is addicted to food, and someday i will explain to him that addiction is addiction and his is killing him as surely as mine is killing me, but that is another story altogether.
Do you have the stuff for the thomas recipe? I am thriving on that stuff. I just got out of the shower, crying in it and thanking God life looks clearer, weirdly. I want to hug my boys when they get home and my hubby! I have a great life, what are we all doing?? I started on Norcos, know them WELL!! What are you down to? They are the 10 mg ones right? Yellow? I was taking 4 at a time when I found my husband got 40 mg oxy's and I was so happy (not). I want to make up for all of my lost times, it feels weird. I hope you are quiting becuz you want to becuz you will be able to find it where you move. My stupid Dr. lives 400 miles from me, we moved to and all he wants is for us to mail him a FedEx envelope and next day bam anything we want. I want to turn him in so bad but he will be in trouble soon enough. I won't do that. Let us know how your taper is going or PM me and let me know. Praying for you. Go get so stuff today for tomorrow. Anyone to take care of you? My hubby was a saint! He told me the 2nd night he checked on me 10 x's. Love him even more!!!
norco. like double hydros with less acetaminophen. and this time around i took it to control the pain. i just didn't like thaat it turned me into a couch potato again and i gained 10 lb's back of the 20 i lost while wd'ing from the methadone i was on before. i also moved and most of the reason i am quitting is i have no source for the meds. the pain is already back full force, and i really don't know what i am going to do. will finish the taper tomorrow.
What is your DOC? What are you down to? I started taking 80's chewing them, YUM,lol, and then I bought a pill cutter and went from 1 to 3/4 to 1/2 and so on. When I got down to an 1/8 of a pill which was hell I hated the feeling soooo bad I wanted OUT!! That was it. We used to have awesome ins and could get a bottle of 80's, 360 of them for $4!!!!! Amazing huh! Well, it was a God sent that we moved and don't have that ins. Sometimes when things are bad there is a reason. Good Luck on your taper and I will pray you make it. Is this your 2 nd time? I heard it can be harder, that is one of the reasons I am staying strong! I am tired of thisfeeling! I didn't get the runs until today, day 4 weird. I think of it as purging and its ok. Keep on..........
What is your DOC? What are you down to? I started taking 80's chewing them, YUM,lol, and then I bought a pill cutter and went from 1 to 3/4 to 1/2 and so on. When I got down to an 1/8 of a pill which was hell I hated the feeling soooo bad I wanted OUT!! That was it. We used to have awesome ins and could get a bottle of 80's, 360 of them for $4!!!!! Amazing huh! Well, it was a God sent that we moved and don't have that ins. Sometimes when things are bad there is a reason. Good Luck on your taper and I will pray you make it. Is this your 2 nd time? I heard it can be harder, that is one of the reasons I am staying strong! I am tired of thisfeeling! I didn't get the runs until today, day 4 weird. I think of it as purging and its ok. Keep on..........
suboxone itself is addictive, just easier to get off. in the other forum, ffladdict is the authority on suboxone. from what i understand you have to quit the meds first or it will make you sick, then it helps you through the wds, and has to be tapered off of. take as little as possible, for as short a time as possible, and it is supposed to be a lot easier than ct. i couldn't afford it, so did the ct way last time. tapering this time, and the taper is easier on the body, but takes a lot more self discipline. at least for me.
Thanks for the input, I have read alot on here about it and have told him so I think he is believing me. Seeing what I have gone thru the last 4 days, he is encouraged. He just can't seem to give up the thought of living in pain everyday. I do feel bad for him and alot of you on here, but there could be physical therapy. He has been in pain for so many years and he is only 43. I do feel bad but I hate who he has become. Not as bad as he could, thanks to me watching all his pills and unfortunately a little for me and a little for you idea, BAD ME!!!! Anyway, he said he is cuttung down. I opened his bottle today to see how many is in there and there is about 360 pills!!! Thats alot! No desire, thank God. IS Suboxone a good choice or is CT just the best? Thanks!
PLEASE NOT METHADONE!!!! suboxone would be far better, as it is easier to get off of. i did the methadone thing and it was a montha and a half before i got to feeling better. i ended up going back on the norcos for the pain and am kicking them now, and it is so much easier than the methadone. i can function almost normally this time around. about the flushing, that is what i did last time. half a bottle of mthadone and my xanax. then i had a party. that was three days into the wds. had to or i would have been right back on them. anyway, just wanted to try and stop him from the methadon path. it is hell.
Lucy
Lucy
How frusterating!!! I just typed you a huge note and lost it! Anyway I know I have alot of pills hidden in case we ran out, we have done the rummaging before like alot of you have, I am sure. That is good that you flushed it, that is hard. My hubby is the one in pain. I feel bad for him but the Dr he goes to will give ANYONE anything they want. He called and said he wanted clonopin and bam we got it. He has a rx for ativan so he shouldn't have given him 2 benzos. It was for me, I thought I would need it but I only took it 2 times. Didn't do much for me. I have a huge tollerance of alot of stuff. My hubby says he will get off but he is not looking forward to it. He has had joint pain since he was 11 and in 1995 he fell thru a roof 31 feet to the ground and messed his back up. I know he has pain but it has changed my fun loving hubby into a couch potatoe, like I got. HE works hard and nmakes good money, thank God. I am a little nervous about going back to work tomorrow because I work with a special needs child and my nerves are on end. Maybe a small amount of ativan, who knows. Hug your dad and never take advantage of having them here on earth!!!! Regarding hubby, he is tapering with my help and then we'll see. He wants to take Methadone but I reada to much bad stuff so maybe suboxone. He has been on for over 3 years. He has bad pain.
foxygirl lol..that darn gizzy...lol....u r stronger than i am ..to have all that around and not use espically on the 4th day omg kudos to u my friend...i flushed an 80 once ...kinda had myself a little ritual with it..it was one i found in a bottle i had hid.....i was like drown u piece of **** lol....i took percosets at first and i dint abuse them i took them as directed but when they gave me oc's that changed quickly...those r demons to say the least....how many were u doing a day? i was doing anywhere from 3-5 80's a day sometimes more depending on supply.....i was in pain mgmt....i assume u or hubby is also?...i had to cut my ties with that quack dr.....u miss one appt and they drop u so i did just that...then they sent me a bill for that appt for 200 bucks and im not paying lol...i read ur journal about ur dad...sounds like an awesome guy..my dad used to be an alcoholic and he started going to church and now hes a preacher.....things havent been the same since and he is my rock....im lucky to still have him and cherish everyday of it...taking 1 will not make u supermom but i know what u mean they make u feel great u think...but i feel better now than i ever did when i was using.....it takes some time to heal all the damage we have done to our minds and souls and our poor bodies....u can do ths ..i can tell by ur posts u will succeed.....is hubby gonan go c/t or taper?
I never snorted them but I used to see my husband chew them and thought JUCK!!! I gag easy on pills if I taste them and boy did that change. I could chew a whole 80 and make sure I got it all off my teeth, if you know what I mean. I must have pretty good will power, which I never knew, because my hubby has not quit and I have 1 bottle of 360 30's and about 15 80's left and I am all alone and have no desire!! I know everyones different but if you read my last journal post it kind of explains that about my dad. Congrats on you being clean. It is so nice to be clear minded. I am sure that there will be days that I will want to just take one to be that super mom. I have to remember what it did to me. Ironically I always b!tched at my hubby for taking these and when he went from norcos to oxys I told him that was it! And maybe there is a reason, I will be so much more sympathetic when he comes off.
doesnt it feel good to not have to worry about pills?i know u know what i mean...the looking the worrying if u will have enuff to do this or that....the money to buy them...and i also know hat u mean by the taste i unfortunately snorted oxy's and i hate to say i loved the taste and still crave that part the worst sometimes i can even taste them still ....have u done that yet?on day 4 u r having the "comming out of the fog" feeling...feels good doesnt it?so proud of u and hubby.....my hubby and i also got clean together.....a bright future awaits u both....good luck and keep us posted....god bless u
Thank you!!! I am now feeling so encouraged!! I hope everyday gets better. I am filling my body with all the GOOD stuff now. When I go back to work will be the real test. That is tomorrow. It is so encouraging to read "3 months clean" or " 48 days clean" I can't wait to post things like that. I also can't wait for my energy, does that take awhile? Any secrets?
I felt so weak yesterday that I tried taking a walk and it was so hard. Is it ok to drink caffeine? I am taking the L-Tyrosine. My hubby has been so great, he walks with me outside in the middle of the night more than once. My legs feel better now. Why do we get that? If I didn't get that, WD's would have been alot better. I guess everybodies diiferent. Any ideas at gettingenergy back? I am considered a hyper energetic person so this is weird.
I'm so glad you're feeling better. Keep up with what you're doing. You may still have some ups and downs but you are doing great.
Exercise might help with the rls. it helped me.
Exercise might help with the rls. it helped me.
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