antidepressants and scared

[Applecore]

I have been taking natural antidepressants for about 2 months now and lorazapam about the same time.  I have been doing everything the doctors have told me to do, with breathing, trying to chill, I have even picked up a new hobby, making earring and necklaces, which i have found I love doing to get my mind going the right direction.  

I don't feel the natural antidepressants are helping me enough even with the lorazapam any longer.  I fight every day for the last week just to stay looking forward except sometimes during each day the hopelessness and crying get me and I fight again to regain going forward.  I don't understand the progression of this disease.  My tsh finally got to normal and then went up 3 point and anxiety and depression hit and now some panic which I have been able to control.  

Anyway I called my holistic doctor and he wants me to see a psychiatric nurse who will be more available to me but I am going to a Christian counsellor and don't want to many sticks in the fire.

My question is I am also going to a Christian psychiatrist to get a regular antidepressant.  I have only taken one when I first started with the thyroid 2 years ago for a couple of months and he took me off of it as I got better.  I stayed off until 2 months agao when everything got worse.  I didn't want to go this way but the natural just doesn't seem to do it for me anymore not even with the aid of the lorazapam.  I am just wanting a rest from all this turmoil and stress on my body and mind and hope the antidepressant will help.   I keep thinking I can continue to push on but it seems like it will never end.  Does taking an antidepressant help and can you get off of them once you get on them.  I feel so ashamed that I have to do this but God knows I need help with the constant having to push to stay alive.  I love my family and my husband and want things to be straightened out and I am trying so hard but I cry alot.  it is stressful just to say what I do.   God made me a promise that I would look for my enemies and I would not find them, It would be as they never existed Is. 41:11,12 and also that he had a work for my husband and I to do and I cling to that promise because I sure can't do a work the way I am.\

My holistic doctor told me to get my thoughts together and wants me to go some foreign stuff training like scratching your head to rubbing you arm or something else to get your thought going a different way.  I'm sure that is a good thing but not the direction I want to go.   I feel my mind is so exhausted and disappointed that this all has to happen.   Well I am rambling on.  Also am waiting maybe today I will get the results of my blood tests form my thyroid.  

Have any of you had to travel this path to recovery where everything seemed to get right and then boom you where fighting all this stuff.  I know someone on here told me the thyroid sometimes throws you back into stuff that you never got straightened out from before and this is  probably it.  Any encouraging comments will be so much appreciated.  I feel I am asking you alot for this but every day is a challenge and the Lord gave me this forum to help me and so I am looking to you all for help.

I wanted to post on STella's comments but I just want to tell her I love her and am praying for her and I know how she feels about not taking an antidepressant, I didn't want to either.  Maybe the natural one which is called L-5HTP would help you Stella.  It did help me and has not side effects except maybe weight loss a little.  I guess I am fishing for relief but want out of this and can't see the way.  Help me see the way Lord.     Love to all   Linda

[stella5349]

Applecore-

First - thanks for the comment - you have to realize though - I recently was Dx'd with a nodule which has changed my thyroid issues a bit - It is an area that I have done little research in b/c I was unaware I had one and was solely concentrating on TSH t3 and T4 levels in the past. You on the other hand are still trying to balance what's been going on with you for a while and that seems to be a constant rollar coaster ride for you.

We have discussed being spiritual - You are a very well educated and spiritual woman and that is good. This is what I think.

In nature - you seem to want to handle your thyroid condition on a very natural level. You search out holistic therapy yet also have the medical society too. The two can work together - but I see to many hands in your "cookie jar".  It seems you have a overwhelming amount of people telling you how you feel and your not giving yourself a chance to really look deep down and know how YOU feel. I think to many people are telling you different information and you no longer have the gut feelings for yourself.

Medically - in your last posts- your TSH and other blood work is normal. So the "danger" if getting that together should relieve you a bit. Now - it is time for YOU to look at YOUR symptoms. If you are depressed and what is going on is not working --- so be it.

DO you want to try an anti depressant? Then try it. Don't rely on the holistic approach or medical just because it is what it is -

Think about it - that is why God created doctors - medical ones- too! God give YOU to power of mind and spirit - not the humans around you. He gave YOU the brain and wisdom to make your decisions - Linda - make YOUR decisions based on what you believe is happening to you and follow it. Then - that is where God will be behind you and YOUR decisions.

No one can step inside your body and KNOW YOU. - only YOU are capable to see that. Find your own gut feelings again and thrive on the power that God gave you a working mind to take control of your health and use it.

As for me on the natural anti depressant - I am going to pass on that right now. I think my path right now is to get rolling on getting this thing out of my neck and make the best decision on how to do it. I still need to see if my TSH is balanced out yet and will find out next week with that too with blood test. Linda I am 41 - so hormones "naturally" are changing and you have experienced that in your life already. PArt of this for me IS just simply life too.

Take care and use your mind - there are people out there to help - but you need to take control and be in charge of you.

[stella5349]

Forgot ...... I don't think I am truely depressed Linda - I think I am ticked I don't feel good for so long and want to feel better. Once I get that worked out - I can guarantee I will be the happy  little smartie pants I can be at times.

[Applecore]

I have not much to say about what you just said to me.  I hope you understand .   My gut is telling me this and than that.   I pray you never have to go through depression.  It is worse than hypo hell.  It is hard to understand the desperation that you have when you feel like you don't want to live.   I know I am getting lot of opinions but this is what I have decided at this time.  I am going to the psychiatrist and see what he has to say.  The natural just is stopping my depressive thoughts enough.  I keep thinking that I can't make it without changing something and the others have been saying that an antidepressant is the way to go.  My therapist also says that she thinks it will help me to rest my mind a while.   I just want to get stabile enough to make my own decisions.  As I said in my post God promised me that he had something for Roger and I to do and I sure can't do it like this.  I get so desperate and don't know what to do.   I know I am not a weak person but this is ridiculous.      linda

[Applecore]

I meant to say the natural antidepressant isn't stopping my awful thoughts enough.  May be a antidepressant will help until they get straightened out. I am going by God's word in Is. 41:11,12.  That is what keeps me going.  linda

[stella5349]

Just follow your head Linda "the good things" they ARE there - you have to listen to them. and ......... I do get depressed - I think everyone does - just don't let it eat the heck out of you.

[Applecore]

I don't even have an answer fo ryou about that.   linda

[stella5349]

Yeah - you do - you just aren't listening. :)

[peggy64]

I was doing a search on AD and thyroid here in this community. I ran across this, and I really benefited from what Stella posted. I thought someone else might be going through the same issues and trials and might need the encouragement. I know that depression is really prominent in Thyroid disease.

I have not wanted to take the AD because I fear it might interfere with the thyroid issue and that is enough to deal with at this point, but my mind, and emotions and everything is in such a downward spiral, that I have started taking them.  WHen I feel better, then I can work myself off of them.
I am at the point to where I hate to make any decisions for fear it is the wrong thing, but I need some relief!!  

Anyway, I thought this was worth a 2nd look......Chin up, right? right! We are tough, right? Right. all right lets get to marching again.

[ChitChatNIne]

You are a very strong woman and have taken the first step to feel better. You reached out.

I cannot tell you what to do .. it has to be from within.

I can share with you from my own very personal experiences.

I have had clincial depression 25yrs ago and I am healed fully.

Anytime you want, send me a PM .. be glad to share with you some thoughts but I did not have thyroid issues at the time.

There is an awesome depression community here .... two fine CL's are on it ... perhaps touch base there, too, or let me know and I'll let them know you are coming over there to ask some ?'s ..

You are strong.  Remember that always and the rest will fall into place I guarantee you.

C~

[ChitChatNIne]

Peggy .. I think our posts crossed at the same time but my above is for YOU TOO!!!!  For all on this community!

I just realized THIS IS AN OLD post .. from Feb.

Last I heard Applecore was doing really well .... somebody should PM her .. hmmmm!!!!

C~

[dai3symae]

Thyroid disease is a treatable medical condition.  Depression is treatable medical condition.  Sometimes treating one will solve the other and sometimes not.  If your symptoms of depression are not getting better with a normal TSH and the natural antidepressants you tried then you may need something else.  There are many anti-depressants and they don't all work the same for everyone.  You need to work with a professional who can find the right one for you.

You asked if anyone had walked this path.  The answer is yes.  Me.  I work with a phychiatrist so I know I'm taking the right meds at the right dose.  He fine tunes my meds according to my needs.  And, yes, you can stop taking antidepressants when you no longer need them.

You have no reason to feel ashamed.  Depression is a medical condition that is treatable.  I have a full normal life with a family, job friends, etc....just like everyone else.

I'm not the most spiritual person, but I don't think God intends us to feel shame for health problems over which we have no control.  

Good luck and God bless you.

Sandy

[Applecore]

Thanks for all the wonderful comments and thanks to Cherly for contacting me and telling me about the latest comments.  

I am doing well - am still on the medications for