is it or isnt it ?

[jessica_j1976]

im not sure some of the time because im so used to putting blame on myself. when me and my current spouse got together a few years ago he insisted i not find another job when i quit my job due to sexual harrassment from the manager. he said he would provide for me and my children(not his) and he also talked me into telling the courts i no longer wanted childsupport from my ex when we went to court for him not paying the support.
not to say he doesnt work hard at his job but we have more bills than we can handle. i try to buy groceries, gas and ect with the $100 or less we have left over each week,we pay on his mortage weekly and one bill and thats all thats left .there are only 4 wks in the month with 7 bills not including the car insurance due every 3 months that puts us even further behind.
so while i juggle the bills to keep our heads afloat he blames me if something is late.i have tried showing him our income and bills but he says its still my fault.and to be honest everything around here stays behind.i have offered to go back to work and he starts yelling that some guy would just try to go out with me and he would end up in jail.then when something gets behind or we cant pay it he screams u need to get a f&&* job! and then when i go to look for one he starts ranting i dont need to work.
also when i forget to do something (like lastnight when i accidently locked my keys in the car) i had to call my cousin and her hubby  to come and unlock it for me since they where closer to me and he was sick in bed. he accused me of wanting her hub. he is always accusing me of men. he has even accused me of his brothers and even once his 80 yr old dad.
the worse part is i was molested when i was younger by an older cousin. and he had gotten my number from someone else in the family and tried to call me. when i told him about this he made  the statement "what is it exactly thats going on between u two? i think theres something going on" when in fact when my cousin called i told him to never try and contact me again.
he says things like this all of the time. i dont know what to do.

[jml1986]

You need to be very careful. Control is a form of abuse and it will only get worse. He has all the classic signs of an abuser and if I were you, I would get out. You have to do what is best for you and your children.

[mgrash]

I could have written your post. I am almost crying, becuase i really could have written those words. Only I have one child, and my boyfriend is the dad.

I know that my situation is getting worse. I feel as if I am bottoming out, as if I really cant take anymore. I often feel that his sole objective is to convince me that I am ****. Even when he is joking, he is being mean. and when he is being mean, he is brutal. He often agrees to go to therapy, but has never gone. See, the thing is I am so frustrated because i am trying to convince him that he is wrong- instead of convincing myself that I am not ****. I know he is wrong, but i feel like he is right.

I am sorry. I have no advice for you. saying get out seems cliche. That is undoubtably what needs to be done, but how do you go about doing it?

[jenny8575309]

I have been abused this way in the past.  Today I have a happy, healthy reletionship with man who is wonderful and sweet, and would never do these things to me.  I have 3 kids, and he likes them.  Please for God's sake leave these guys, it'll only get terribly worse for you and your family.