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Abuse Support Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to emotional, physical, sexual, social, spiritual, spousal, and verbal abuse.
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by Sandra300, Feb 23, 2008 03:01PM
I need advice, I have an emotionally,physically and verbally abusive mother who leaves no opportunity to emotionally abuse me or put me down. i have cared for her off and on for yrs. recentally I took over her care and even brought her to my home to recover from a fracture. I gave her the best care I could plus work 7 days a week. It cost me and my spouse about $1,300, marital problems(I tried to warn my spouse how mentally ill she was, prior) I got very little sleep(as she woke me up all night) very little appetite etc. She's since returned home only to put me down to my husband, her friends and famliy. But she still calls me for help. My body systems are majorally affected by the stress of everything. I know in my heart that I gave her the best medical care possible. Now I feel I should walk away and protect my own mental health. Can someone please advice me as to what to do?
Member Comments (3)
by teko, Feb 23, 2008 03:22PM
This is a tough one. How old is your mom? I would have a sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Based on what comes out of the conversation, I would consider telling her that she will have to leave if she continues. This one is hard because we all have a mother and will lose them one day and do not want the memories to be full of regrets. My prayers are with you.
by SL345, Feb 23, 2008 04:46PM
To: Sandra300
Yes, protect yourself from more maltreatment but try to make sure your mom's needs are addressed by someone. You don't need to be the direct caregiver. In fact, you may not be the best person to do it. Rally a support network - relatives, church. community mental health association. Try to do as little as seems ethical to you. If you turn away from her, given your description of the relationship, chances are you will eventually feel guilty, anxious to get pressed into service in ways that are destructive to you. Seek out counseling for yourself to give you support during this time.
by jml1986, Feb 25, 2008 02:07PM
You have to do what you need to do for you. If you have siblings, you need to let them take over from here. You are no good to anyone if you don't take of yourself.
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