Is the whole family abusing me?

[ladyjane301]

I am an educated woman who actully worked in Law Enforcment before I married my husband.  We have been married for 8 years and have 2 children.  Things were good for a year, and then our money started to dry up.  He wanted me to work, but he could not bring much home.  He is a farmer in partnership with his brothers.  All of his brothers have built new homes on partnership land which they never paid for, yet we live in an old house that has lots of problems and have never got anything. Our children used to go to a privet lutheran school, but when I got on the school board I raised red flags of mistreatment of students, when the male principle said the my 7 year old daughter was in loved him. I pulled my children, now no one speaks to me, not my sister in laws, all of them have parties ect but  no one includes me or my children.  My husband is now qouting statments that were said by church members like not speaking to others because you only hear gossip and slander.  I fell alone and isolated.  My husband is very distant and does not even touch me.  I am poor emotional hurt and alone. Please help.

[jml1986]

How sad that they are rejecting you for standing up for the safty of your daughter. What is even sadder is that you can not even turn to your husband for support. I gotta tell you, I must not be as nice as you are, because if my husband treated me that way when all I was doing was protecting our child, I would be all over his @ss. I can live without the extended family, but the husband is a whole different ballgame.

[AnnaE]

Please seek counseling, so that you can talk about what's going on, and perhaps make some changes.

[RockRose]

In the "partnership" is there a specific legal agreement detailing what property belongs to the group,  and what property can be built on?   Have they built on land they aren't entitled to?  If they are doing well financially - and they're all partners - is the reason they're doing better money wise is because their wives have outside money or they're doing outside things?   Sorry to ask so many questions but I think if might be helpful for you to look into the legality of this partnership and figure out if you're not getting your fair share.

Does everyone go to the same private school that your kids now don't attend - is that a source of the problem?

It sounds like your husband feels very lonely and sad with his extended family right there but he's ostracized.  I wonder if you could call a family meeting,  and just say hat in hand that your concerns about the school have nothing to do with your love for the family and you and your children want to be a part of this family - and what can be done to mend the fences and everybody get back on the same page,  despite your feelings about the school.

Best wishes.