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Child Behavior Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to child behavior, discipline (behavior management), parent-child communications, and social development.
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3.5 year old - Behavior Problems at Preschool
by kg2540, Feb 28, 2008 12:53PM
My 3.5 year old son has been having behavior problems at school. His teachers say that his behavior is disrupting both his learning as well as the class. He exhibits the following behavior:
- Defiant. Often openly disregards requests from the teacher. He will pretend like he hasn't heard the request or will turn away. When further probed, he will tell you he's not listening to you.
- He has a difficult time with transition times. If he doesn't want to do what the teacher is asking & is forced (either verbally or if the teacher tries to move him), he will often throw a tantrum or throw the toys across the room.
- Doesn't participate in Large Group Activities. During circle time, he do anything but participate. He will walk away or lie on the floor or bug the children seated next to him. The teachers have given him the option of sitting in a chair behind the circle if he doesn't want to participate. However, even when sitting in the chair he won't interact with the group or pay attention. If he does, he will whine or use baby talk. He also doesn't participate in Gym time, group stretching (during Gymnastics lessons), and some of the other activities.
- He's the only child in the class who isn't potty trained. He will kick and scream if someone tries to force him to use the potty. He doesn't like anyone to change his diaper. He often screams and kicks when they are changing his diaper and won't tell the teacher when he has poop. Sometimes, by the time they realize, he already has a diaper rash that is painful.
- He's behind the class on letter\number recognition and fine motor skills. Although, I think he's still within the normal range for a 3.5 year old.
- He has trouble playing with peers. He is sometimes rough and often the other kids don't want to play with him.
We have some similar difficulties with him at home. Especially with the potty training and tantrums. Whenever possible, we try to give him acceptable choices and warn him before transitions. However, we feel his behavior is peculiar.
I'm not sure how to advise the teachers on his behavior. They have recommended that we seek assistance from an Occupational Therapist. I feel he's too young to diagnose. Also, I wonder how 1-on-1 therapy with an OT will help with his problems.
Please advise.
- Defiant. Often openly disregards requests from the teacher. He will pretend like he hasn't heard the request or will turn away. When further probed, he will tell you he's not listening to you.
- He has a difficult time with transition times. If he doesn't want to do what the teacher is asking & is forced (either verbally or if the teacher tries to move him), he will often throw a tantrum or throw the toys across the room.
- Doesn't participate in Large Group Activities. During circle time, he do anything but participate. He will walk away or lie on the floor or bug the children seated next to him. The teachers have given him the option of sitting in a chair behind the circle if he doesn't want to participate. However, even when sitting in the chair he won't interact with the group or pay attention. If he does, he will whine or use baby talk. He also doesn't participate in Gym time, group stretching (during Gymnastics lessons), and some of the other activities.
- He's the only child in the class who isn't potty trained. He will kick and scream if someone tries to force him to use the potty. He doesn't like anyone to change his diaper. He often screams and kicks when they are changing his diaper and won't tell the teacher when he has poop. Sometimes, by the time they realize, he already has a diaper rash that is painful.
- He's behind the class on letter\number recognition and fine motor skills. Although, I think he's still within the normal range for a 3.5 year old.
- He has trouble playing with peers. He is sometimes rough and often the other kids don't want to play with him.
We have some similar difficulties with him at home. Especially with the potty training and tantrums. Whenever possible, we try to give him acceptable choices and warn him before transitions. However, we feel his behavior is peculiar.
I'm not sure how to advise the teachers on his behavior. They have recommended that we seek assistance from an Occupational Therapist. I feel he's too young to diagnose. Also, I wonder how 1-on-1 therapy with an OT will help with his problems.
Please advise.
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Now, its possible that he needs a bit more time to grow up than the other kids in that class-- as is indicated by him not being potty trained yet and still have some "terrible two" type behavior. That does not mean necessarily that there is a problem-- he may just need more time. 3.5 years is pretty young-- kids can change a lot when they are that little.
Having said that, you yourself have indicated that you have some concerns about his behavior at home. I think you should seek advice from his pediatrician, and then probably a developmental pediatrician who can evaluate whether his behavior is in the realm of normal, or whether he needs some additional help, and what kind of help that might be. Occupational therapy is one kind of help, but that might not be the kind called for here.