40 Y/O Female cannot reach orgasm

[Bob1958]

My girlfriend of over 3 years does not desire sex. She claims  to never had an orgasm and has been told by her doctor that she may have nerve damage due to a botched C-section 19 years ago.  I love her a lot and I'm sure she loves me, but in the last 3 years we have had sex maybe once every other Month. I know she's doing it only for me. She seems to get no pleasure from sex at all.

She refuses to seek help and I don't know if I should end it or not.

[Confused about HIV risk]

have you gone down on her?

[Bob1958]

Are you kidding me?.....For about an hour just this morning, gently asking her what feels good so I can concentrate on that. She says it feels good but not enough to climax.

I feel hopeless

[Bob1958]

Are you kidding me?.....For about an hour just this morning, gently asking her what feels good so I can concentrate on that. She says it feels good but not enough to climax.

I feel hopeless

[jml1986]

Sounds like she needs to find a different doctor. I am not saying that is was not from a botched c-section, but I would doubt that. The cut the stomach and uterous open, but they do not touch the clitorus and that is where most orgasms come from in women. I'd get a second opinion.

[njw753]

Does she masturbate?  If not, she should, to learn about her own body.  No matter how well my husband knows my body and what makes me orgasm, I know it better.

Has she/you ever used a vibrator?  This can really help women orgasm who never have before.  One with a variable knob that turns is best because instead of 1-3 speed buttons, she can adjust it to any speed.

[Bob1958]

Yes, I agree she needs to see another Doctor, but she never goes to the Doctor. I think since I have known her she has only been for her yearly Woman stuff check up.

No, she will not masturbate, she was brought up in the Bible belt (Kansas) and as soon as she turned 18 she moved to California. She has been brainwashed into believing that touching yourself is an absolute NO-NO. I have finally talked her into touching her breasts, which may not seem like much but to me, that was major. She doesn’t seem to enjoy it and seems to be doing it just for me. She will not touch herself anywhere else.

One thing that did kind of made her feel like she could have an orgasm was something we tried about 3 years ago called the slightest touch. It was a electronic stimulator that was attached to her ankle. Plus included in the therapy was a little bottle of liquid that was used by the dropper. She kept telling me it felt GOOD but not enough to bring her to orgasm. Of course I tried going downtown for hours (I really know what to do in that department in case you thinking I may not be doing it right) but still nothing. We gave up after a month of trying and got our money refunded. I’m almost inclined to purchase one again so our vacation could be a little more fun.

I sure hope someone can help me out a little, we are going to Maui next week and it sure would be nice to have a healthy dose of SEX, instead of wishing I could have it.

Thanks for all the suggestions.

[surfgirl709]

you are very patient.  Can I give you my number?

[jml1986]

It sounds to me like she will not relax and let herself go in the moment. If she was raised that you do not do certain sexual things, it is hard to get that out of your head. I know, because I was raised that way myself. She will have to want to change before she is open to any ideas. Now, this is only if she does not have any under lying medical issue that keeps her from having an orgasm.

[njw753]

I was raised in Kansas and do not have a problem touching myself.  I also have Catholic friends who we know are taught that is a no-no and they masturbate also.  She is going to have to want to change and it sounds like she doesn't.  But, since she tried that stimulator, maybe she would be open to a vibrator that doesn't look to hard core and that you could use on her.

[Milfilicious78]

I'm sorry, u need 2 *** visit me..tee-hee..oh, and is that 1958 your b-day? Older guy..YES!!!

Alright, sorry guys, just a lil' stressed and furious at the non-giving of the orgasms Hubby!!!

[Bob1958]

Thanks for all the comments, yes I'm 50, but still a horny guy...lol

I don't think it's a Kansas thing, I just stated that she grew up in the mid-west and received that sorta training yannow?

We have tried vibrators, several different types and sizes with no success.

Anyone know of a really good porn site?

[Bob1958]

Well, we are leaving for Hawaii tomorrow and I am going to ask her to marry me. I sure hope I can talk her into seeing another Doctor. At least when I masturbate I'm thinking of her (so it's really not so bad) and I have kinda gotten used to it.

One more bump to the top b-4 we leave,

Thanks again!

[AMB222]

More power to yea Bob. My husband can only get me off through oral sex anymore. Sometimes he gets ruff. I can only get off if he gently teases my clit alot, kissing and licking my lips, and rubbing my thighs. He also tells me how sexy I am while doing it. I'm sure you are great but most women are different.