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Child Behavior Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to child behavior, discipline (behavior management), parent-child communications, and social development.
4 almost 5 year behavior is Degressing at PreK
by ChaseDad, Mar 03, 2008 09:28PM
Hi,
Any feedback is more then welcome. First off some background on my child. My son is 4 soon to be 5 and attending PreK. He stayed home with Mom for the first 3 years and then we started to put him daycare for 3 days a week to get him socially attuned.
This year PreK started ok. He had gotten into some trouble at school but nothing that i felt was out of the ordinary or not to be expected from a child without alot of peer interaction.
And where we are now. My son is pretty much the problem child in his class now. Initially we did not want to dicipline him for behaviour at school because when asked about it he would tell us "He Forgot" and were told that at 4 years old is too early to dicipline for behaviour at school. What is odd is my son began to speak very early and he was potty trained very early also and has never pottied in the bed or in his pants. And has always been very out going child, but he is now starting to show signs of shyness.
He will push and hit (not out of anger)
he has spit on other children ( this does not happen often)
Biggest issue is that he will not listen and follow directions.
He Refuses to take a Nap during Nap time, and usually interrupts the sleeping children around him.
And most recently i believe he will tell lies.
He Does crave an abnormal amount of attention at home and im sure at school which i believe is one of his issues. He is fine academically but during lessons hes usually spinning in his chair, wont hold still, or talking. he is a very cute child and he knows it, usually winking at the teacher or being flirty to try to get out of trouble. Again i feel like my son isnt lashing out about anything. he is very happy child who is on the most part a hyper but well behaved child at home. He does tend to be more problematic with Mom.
The issue is the more we try to correct his behaviour at school the worse it becomes. last month or so he has not had a single "good day"
I think the biggest issue for us is no conventional Discipline techniques seem to work.
Taken away toys - does not have an impact, even his favourite toys Lego's.. we get an "aww man" response from him. i can even leave them on the floor and we will not even attempt to play with them for weeks at a time..
Time out- This is just like sitting him on the couch. He is unresponsive to this technique.
Rewards- This just isnt an incentive for him to change. Chuck-E-cheezes play day; new toys.
Spankin's- the only thing i have seen that will get an emotional reaction from him for punishment. Still uneffective Pushishment.
Behaviour Charts / rewards and Punishments, Listening activities and work books in which he can do those with no problem.
This weekend we bought a bunch of games and put them in a bag and told him for every good day at school he can take one out and we (either Mom or I) would play it with him that night. Well today is monday and another bad day. Starting today my newest approach to try to tackle these issues is to come to school everyday on my lunch break and show him that i am very much engaged in what is happening daily.
If anyone has had issues like these and can offer any advice we would be extremely thankful.
Any feedback is more then welcome. First off some background on my child. My son is 4 soon to be 5 and attending PreK. He stayed home with Mom for the first 3 years and then we started to put him daycare for 3 days a week to get him socially attuned.
This year PreK started ok. He had gotten into some trouble at school but nothing that i felt was out of the ordinary or not to be expected from a child without alot of peer interaction.
And where we are now. My son is pretty much the problem child in his class now. Initially we did not want to dicipline him for behaviour at school because when asked about it he would tell us "He Forgot" and were told that at 4 years old is too early to dicipline for behaviour at school. What is odd is my son began to speak very early and he was potty trained very early also and has never pottied in the bed or in his pants. And has always been very out going child, but he is now starting to show signs of shyness.
He will push and hit (not out of anger)
he has spit on other children ( this does not happen often)
Biggest issue is that he will not listen and follow directions.
He Refuses to take a Nap during Nap time, and usually interrupts the sleeping children around him.
And most recently i believe he will tell lies.
He Does crave an abnormal amount of attention at home and im sure at school which i believe is one of his issues. He is fine academically but during lessons hes usually spinning in his chair, wont hold still, or talking. he is a very cute child and he knows it, usually winking at the teacher or being flirty to try to get out of trouble. Again i feel like my son isnt lashing out about anything. he is very happy child who is on the most part a hyper but well behaved child at home. He does tend to be more problematic with Mom.
The issue is the more we try to correct his behaviour at school the worse it becomes. last month or so he has not had a single "good day"
I think the biggest issue for us is no conventional Discipline techniques seem to work.
Taken away toys - does not have an impact, even his favourite toys Lego's.. we get an "aww man" response from him. i can even leave them on the floor and we will not even attempt to play with them for weeks at a time..
Time out- This is just like sitting him on the couch. He is unresponsive to this technique.
Rewards- This just isnt an incentive for him to change. Chuck-E-cheezes play day; new toys.
Spankin's- the only thing i have seen that will get an emotional reaction from him for punishment. Still uneffective Pushishment.
Behaviour Charts / rewards and Punishments, Listening activities and work books in which he can do those with no problem.
This weekend we bought a bunch of games and put them in a bag and told him for every good day at school he can take one out and we (either Mom or I) would play it with him that night. Well today is monday and another bad day. Starting today my newest approach to try to tackle these issues is to come to school everyday on my lunch break and show him that i am very much engaged in what is happening daily.
If anyone has had issues like these and can offer any advice we would be extremely thankful.
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Few things I can offer as advice:
- my son did-- eventually - stop being aggressive with other children (he still has some issues, but not physical ones)-
- we signed him up for martial arts -- this was a class that required him to control himslef physically -- that, along with a little more maturity, helped him (he stopped being aggressive when he was 5)
- we do behavior charts and behavior modification at home with him too-- always on the reward side -- I think this will have more impact with age -- as he gets a little older this will motivate him more - he's really young now in terms of self-control
- he is still hard to handle-- and I think he always will be-- but it does get better.
You may want to discuss this with your son's pediatrician to see if additional evaluation/ advice could help.