lying stepson

[AC12]

I have been married for 1 1/2 years to my current husband, but we have been together for a total of 7 years.  I have three step sons ages 9, 12 and 14. I also have my own daughter from a prior marriage who is also 12.  The oldest boy and my daugher live with us, but the other two boys are here 51% of the time.  The youngest boy was just recently taken to counseling by his mother and he LIED to the counselor about being abused in our household.  The counselor called CPS and had us investigated.  After everyone was interviewed, she found that the claim was unfounded and not substantiated, but I am so upset and hurt now I don't know what to do.  I learned the youngest even said that I was slapping him and disciplining him behind his father's back (an outrageous lie since Dad refuses to have me discipline any of them.  I just tell him problems I'm having later and he deals with it)  Obviously, the youngest has a lot of issues and should continue in counseling, but I am fearful now of further lying.   I was also fearful of CPS intervening (I've heard the nightmare stories) and taking the children, not only his sons but my daughter as well.  I am worried about the future.  I am extremely saddened and offended and mad.  Has anyone gone through anything like this before?   What can/should I do to protect myself?  How should I be dealing with the untruthful boy now?  My husband is sweeping it under the carpet and claiming it's all poison from his jealous mother, but I am feeling like this situation is only going to get worse.  I don't want to pretend that nothing happened.  Should we just let the counselor deal with it or have a family or private meeting regarding this?  My husband doesn't want to bring it up.  No one has given us any recommendations.   I love my husband and the kids very much, but I never imagined I would be signing up for anything like this.  Any suggestions or helpful comments would be truly appreciated.  

[MrsOckert]

Your husband is probably right .... it is poison coming from the mother.  Doesn't make it any easier to know that.  It's a tough situation and I would feel exactly the same way you do.  I can see my husband reacting exactly like your husband, too.

The hard part is if you did try to sit down with this boy there's the possibility of stirring up additional lies and more investigations, and who knows what else.

My husband's ex during and just after the divorce accused him of child abuse.  He has been investigated 4 times and cleared, the problem is the accusations stay on the record.  We were unable to foster a child because of the accusations - not the truth - just the accusations.

I hope others will come along and give better advice.  I just didn't want you to think no one cared or was reading your posting.  Often I think we care we just don't know what kind of advice to give and think it's better to say nothing than something that makes a situation worse.

I wish you the best.

[Kymberlij0529]

From personal experience with a wacko who knew CPS's # by heart, they won't take your children away based on unsubstantiated claims.  I'm not sure what to do about the lies but perhaps counseling for you' hubby, and kids..one on one and family..wouldn't be a bad idea.  Good luck.

[MrsOckert]

Doesn't matter whether they take the kids away or not.  Just having to deal with the situation over and over and over again is hard enough.  My husbands ex has accused him of child abuse 4 times - he's been cleared every time and the two kids that lived with him were never taken away - but just the hassle of all the interviews and all the other bu****sh(((() that goes along with it is a super pain.